1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:02,132 --> 00:00:03,800 - [Robot Woman] Hi. 3 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:05,218 Hi. 4 00:00:05,218 --> 00:00:07,429 (laughing) 5 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 6 00:00:16,271 --> 00:00:19,566 (upbeat pop rock music) 7 00:00:34,706 --> 00:00:36,917 ♪ I just wanna rock you ♪ 8 00:00:36,917 --> 00:00:41,880 ♪ I just wanna Rockula ♪ 9 00:00:44,007 --> 00:00:46,259 ♪ I just wanna rock you ♪ 10 00:00:46,259 --> 00:00:50,222 ♪ I just wanna Rockula ♪ 11 00:00:50,222 --> 00:00:53,517 (upbeat pop rock music) 12 00:01:28,552 --> 00:01:30,762 ♪ You know I just wanna rock you ♪ 13 00:01:30,762 --> 00:01:35,725 ♪ You know I just wanna Rockula ♪ 14 00:01:37,769 --> 00:01:40,063 ♪ You know I just wanna rock you ♪ 15 00:01:40,063 --> 00:01:44,985 ♪ You know I just wanna Rockula ♪ 16 00:01:47,279 --> 00:01:52,117 ♪ Rock you ♪ 17 00:01:52,117 --> 00:01:53,994 ♪ Rock ♪ 18 00:02:00,917 --> 00:02:04,546 (slow, tense, creepy music) 19 00:02:18,476 --> 00:02:20,937 (synth music) 20 00:02:30,822 --> 00:02:31,781 - [Ralph] Ah! 21 00:02:31,781 --> 00:02:33,158 - Ralph. 22 00:02:33,158 --> 00:02:34,993 This place is a mess. 23 00:02:34,993 --> 00:02:37,162 - [Ralph] Mom, I'm trying to practice. 24 00:02:37,162 --> 00:02:38,204 - Well honey could you do me a favor 25 00:02:38,204 --> 00:02:40,040 and lock up tonight? 26 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,834 I got a date with a very nice man. 27 00:02:43,877 --> 00:02:45,420 - Who is it this time mom? 28 00:02:45,420 --> 00:02:46,880 - Well I'm not sure yet but I will know 29 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,548 him when I see him. 30 00:02:48,548 --> 00:02:51,134 (sighing) 31 00:02:51,134 --> 00:02:52,510 Oh. 32 00:02:52,510 --> 00:02:54,179 I always forget. 33 00:02:54,179 --> 00:02:55,555 - Mom, I've always meant to ask you, 34 00:02:55,555 --> 00:02:57,098 how do you put your makeup on? 35 00:02:57,098 --> 00:02:58,391 - Practice. 36 00:02:58,391 --> 00:03:00,435 - Ralphie, how do I look? 37 00:03:05,023 --> 00:03:06,441 - You look great, mom. 38 00:03:06,441 --> 00:03:07,317 (hissing) 39 00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:10,278 - Ooo, that's why I love my Ralphie. 40 00:03:12,030 --> 00:03:12,864 (kissing) 41 00:03:12,864 --> 00:03:14,908 My boy, my boy, mama boy. 42 00:03:24,167 --> 00:03:26,711 (quirky music) 43 00:03:35,387 --> 00:03:38,264 (slow organ music) 44 00:03:54,823 --> 00:03:55,782 - Hey Ralph. 45 00:03:58,284 --> 00:03:59,077 Ralphie. 46 00:04:00,745 --> 00:04:02,497 - What do you want? 47 00:04:02,497 --> 00:04:04,708 - Come here and talk to me. 48 00:04:07,627 --> 00:04:08,545 (clapping) 49 00:04:08,545 --> 00:04:09,587 How's it hangin'? 50 00:04:09,587 --> 00:04:11,339 - Is that all you wanted? 51 00:04:11,339 --> 00:04:14,342 To ask me, (clapping) "How's it hangin'?" 52 00:04:14,342 --> 00:04:17,011 - Come on Ralphie, I'm worried about you. 53 00:04:17,011 --> 00:04:20,056 A couple of hours it's gonna be Friday the 13th. 54 00:04:20,056 --> 00:04:22,642 Let me guess, you have a headache, right? 55 00:04:22,642 --> 00:04:24,477 - Right, and a sore throat, too. 56 00:04:24,477 --> 00:04:25,645 - And you think you're coming down with the flu 57 00:04:25,645 --> 00:04:27,522 or something really serious, right? 58 00:04:27,522 --> 00:04:29,691 - Right, I just can't go through with this again. 59 00:04:29,691 --> 00:04:31,067 - Let me see your tongue. 60 00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:31,860 Come on. 61 00:04:36,156 --> 00:04:37,866 Nah, it doesn't look too bad. 62 00:04:37,866 --> 00:04:39,075 Is that a new retainer? 63 00:04:39,075 --> 00:04:40,452 - Yeah, it hurts like heck. 64 00:04:40,452 --> 00:04:42,370 (laughing) 65 00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,246 - I'm sorry. 66 00:04:43,246 --> 00:04:45,457 I know, this legend thing is tough. 67 00:04:45,457 --> 00:04:48,084 Let's take a moment and reflect. 68 00:04:49,169 --> 00:04:50,086 Reflect! 69 00:04:50,086 --> 00:04:50,920 Get it? 70 00:04:51,129 --> 00:04:52,338 Mirror, reflect. 71 00:04:52,547 --> 00:04:54,632 God, I kill myself. 72 00:04:54,632 --> 00:04:57,218 - [Ralph] Reflect, real funny. 73 00:04:57,218 --> 00:04:59,888 Sometimes I really hate that guy. 74 00:04:59,888 --> 00:05:00,722 What am I saying? 75 00:05:00,722 --> 00:05:01,973 He's me. 76 00:05:01,973 --> 00:05:04,058 I guess that means I hate myself. 77 00:05:04,058 --> 00:05:06,186 Why am I confused? 78 00:05:06,186 --> 00:05:09,022 (slow blues music) 79 00:05:16,988 --> 00:05:19,616 Vampires are so misunderstand. 80 00:05:19,616 --> 00:05:22,494 - Well you gotta admit, they got a bloodthirsty reputation. 81 00:05:22,494 --> 00:05:24,287 - Do I look bloodthirsty? 82 00:05:24,287 --> 00:05:27,540 I can't stand the sight of blood, I swear, I faint. 83 00:05:27,540 --> 00:05:28,708 - [Chuck] What about garlic? 84 00:05:28,708 --> 00:05:29,918 - I cook with it all the time. 85 00:05:29,918 --> 00:05:30,960 It's good for colds. 86 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:31,795 Did you know that? 87 00:05:31,795 --> 00:05:33,671 - Let me see if I can get this straight. 88 00:05:33,671 --> 00:05:35,507 Around the middle of the 16th century, you-- 89 00:05:35,507 --> 00:05:36,758 - 17th, right? 90 00:05:36,758 --> 00:05:38,051 - Right. 91 00:05:38,051 --> 00:05:39,427 - Whenever. 92 00:05:39,427 --> 00:05:40,720 A long time ago. 93 00:05:41,971 --> 00:05:45,308 You met this girl, you fell in love. 94 00:05:45,308 --> 00:05:47,769 But there was a problem, she had a boyfriend. 95 00:05:47,769 --> 00:05:48,603 - A pirate. 96 00:05:48,603 --> 00:05:49,437 - A pirate? 97 00:05:49,437 --> 00:05:50,355 - Pirate. 98 00:05:50,355 --> 00:05:51,231 - Whatever. 99 00:05:52,398 --> 00:05:54,275 Now, she loved you, right? 100 00:05:54,275 --> 00:05:55,944 So you were gonna slip off, get married, 101 00:05:55,944 --> 00:05:58,112 when old peg leg finds out, has a shit fit 102 00:05:58,112 --> 00:05:59,030 and comes after you. 103 00:05:59,030 --> 00:05:59,989 - Pissed as hell. 104 00:05:59,989 --> 00:06:03,117 - I just established his mental state. 105 00:06:04,869 --> 00:06:06,120 So there's a fight. 106 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,039 Peg leg loses his sword and what's her name 107 00:06:08,039 --> 00:06:10,375 gets killed by a blow to the head with a ham bone? 108 00:06:10,375 --> 00:06:11,209 - Mona. 109 00:06:11,209 --> 00:06:12,252 Her name was Mona. 110 00:06:12,252 --> 00:06:13,127 - Whatever. 111 00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:16,172 You tried to save her, but what could you do 112 00:06:16,172 --> 00:06:18,091 in the face of 20 pissed off pirate friends 113 00:06:18,091 --> 00:06:20,009 of peg leg's, who were going to turn you 114 00:06:20,009 --> 00:06:21,803 into bat meat and so you beat it. 115 00:06:21,803 --> 00:06:24,222 - [Raphael] He escaped by the skin of his teeth. 116 00:06:24,222 --> 00:06:25,807 - Right. 117 00:06:25,807 --> 00:06:27,100 And since she was killed before you could 118 00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:28,893 fulfill your preordained lot-- 119 00:06:28,893 --> 00:06:31,813 - Before he could give her that final, fatal kiss 120 00:06:31,813 --> 00:06:33,314 and turn her into a vampire. 121 00:06:33,314 --> 00:06:34,190 - Whatever. 122 00:06:35,358 --> 00:06:38,903 She is now reincarnated every 22 years 123 00:06:38,903 --> 00:06:40,738 until you two can get it right, right? 124 00:06:40,738 --> 00:06:41,573 - Right. 125 00:06:41,573 --> 00:06:43,032 - And so tomorrow you are gonna meet her 126 00:06:43,032 --> 00:06:45,159 as you've done every 22 years, 127 00:06:45,159 --> 00:06:46,369 you'll fall in love, 128 00:06:46,369 --> 00:06:47,912 and unless you save her, 129 00:06:47,912 --> 00:06:51,583 this crazed pirate with a rhinestone peg leg will kill her. 130 00:06:51,583 --> 00:06:53,001 - On Halloween. 131 00:06:53,001 --> 00:06:54,544 - You got it. 132 00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:56,254 - What are you gonna do? 133 00:06:56,254 --> 00:06:57,797 - I'm gonna do what I should have done years ago. 134 00:06:57,797 --> 00:06:59,132 I'm gonna lock myself in my room 135 00:06:59,132 --> 00:07:01,509 and avoid this whole thing. 136 00:07:01,509 --> 00:07:03,177 - Well, you're not gonna meet her? 137 00:07:03,177 --> 00:07:04,929 - You're not gonna fall in love? 138 00:07:04,929 --> 00:07:07,390 - She's better off without me. 139 00:07:12,854 --> 00:07:15,899 - Man, that dude's sure got the blues. 140 00:07:15,899 --> 00:07:16,691 Mm mm mm. 141 00:07:17,775 --> 00:07:20,653 (slow blues music) 142 00:07:23,656 --> 00:07:25,366 (tires skidding) (horn honking) 143 00:07:25,366 --> 00:07:29,704 (crashing) (screaming) 144 00:07:29,704 --> 00:07:31,205 - [Mona] He just ran out in front of us. 145 00:07:31,205 --> 00:07:33,499 - [Woman In Glasses] Look he's moving. 146 00:07:33,499 --> 00:07:35,293 - Are you alright? 147 00:07:35,293 --> 00:07:36,711 - Oh god, Mona. 148 00:07:36,711 --> 00:07:38,296 - Why don't you watch where you're going? 149 00:07:38,296 --> 00:07:41,674 I could have, how did you know my name? 150 00:07:41,674 --> 00:07:42,926 - I don't know your name. 151 00:07:42,926 --> 00:07:43,760 You don't know my name. 152 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,304 Just pretend this never happened, okay? 153 00:07:46,304 --> 00:07:48,139 - It never would have happened if you hadn't 154 00:07:48,139 --> 00:07:50,183 jumped out in front of my car. 155 00:07:50,183 --> 00:07:52,477 I hope for your sake my gear isn't crashed. 156 00:07:52,477 --> 00:07:54,520 - Just forget you ever saw me, okay, 'cause the next 157 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,439 thing you know, we're gonna go out on a date 158 00:07:56,439 --> 00:08:00,026 and we're gonna fall in love and then some crazy pirate's 159 00:08:00,026 --> 00:08:02,487 gonna peg with you a ham bone. 160 00:08:04,572 --> 00:08:06,950 (slow music) 161 00:08:08,326 --> 00:08:09,661 - Hey. 162 00:08:09,661 --> 00:08:11,412 You forgot your hat. 163 00:08:11,412 --> 00:08:12,705 - What a weirdo. 164 00:08:13,790 --> 00:08:16,167 (slow music) 165 00:08:18,336 --> 00:08:19,712 (tsking) 166 00:08:19,712 --> 00:08:20,630 - What? 167 00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,382 - You ran away from her didn't you? 168 00:08:22,382 --> 00:08:24,092 - For your information, I didn't just run away, 169 00:08:24,092 --> 00:08:25,176 I had a plan. 170 00:08:25,176 --> 00:08:26,010 - Really? 171 00:08:26,010 --> 00:08:26,844 And what was that? 172 00:08:26,844 --> 00:08:29,472 - I ran, I left, so she doesn't get involved with me. 173 00:08:29,472 --> 00:08:31,557 She doesn't get involved with me, we don't fall in love, 174 00:08:31,557 --> 00:08:32,892 she doesn't die, get it? 175 00:08:32,892 --> 00:08:35,061 - Make a left at MIT, Einstein. 176 00:08:35,061 --> 00:08:37,271 - It's about this, Mr. Wise Guy. 177 00:08:37,271 --> 00:08:39,107 This happens every 22 years so that means 178 00:08:39,107 --> 00:08:42,235 in the last 400 years, I have met, fallen in love, 179 00:08:42,235 --> 00:08:44,946 and lost Mona 14.5 times. 180 00:08:44,946 --> 00:08:46,447 - Talk about coitus interuptus. 181 00:08:46,447 --> 00:08:47,782 - And every time it gets worse. 182 00:08:47,782 --> 00:08:49,867 This time, no way, forget it. 183 00:08:49,867 --> 00:08:51,452 - That's right. 184 00:08:51,452 --> 00:08:53,621 Forget it, just forget the fact that we are 185 00:08:53,621 --> 00:08:56,332 the oldest living virgins walking the planet. 186 00:08:56,332 --> 00:08:57,291 - What are you talking about? 187 00:08:57,291 --> 00:08:58,376 You are the biggest slut I know. 188 00:08:58,376 --> 00:09:00,294 Every time I see you with a different girl. 189 00:09:00,294 --> 00:09:01,963 - They mean nothing to me, Ralph. 190 00:09:01,963 --> 00:09:02,880 It's Mona. 191 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,298 I want you to get Mona. 192 00:09:04,298 --> 00:09:07,385 That means I get out of this crazy mirror thing. 193 00:09:07,385 --> 00:09:09,846 It's like a prison in here, Ralph. 194 00:09:09,846 --> 00:09:11,264 Everything's backwards. 195 00:09:11,264 --> 00:09:12,306 - I knew it, I knew it. 196 00:09:12,306 --> 00:09:14,642 This is about you, this is always about you. 197 00:09:14,642 --> 00:09:16,352 - Wrong, Ralphfalfa. 198 00:09:16,352 --> 00:09:17,895 It's about you. 199 00:09:17,895 --> 00:09:18,938 Because any way you look at it, 200 00:09:18,938 --> 00:09:21,607 she's got two weeks 'til she bites the big one. 201 00:09:21,607 --> 00:09:24,068 (guitar riff) 202 00:09:27,864 --> 00:09:29,699 - What's wrong? 203 00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:30,491 - Nothing. 204 00:09:32,076 --> 00:09:34,328 I was just thinking about the accident and-- 205 00:09:34,328 --> 00:09:35,913 - Did somebody say accident? 206 00:09:35,913 --> 00:09:36,873 - Yeah. 207 00:09:36,873 --> 00:09:38,416 We had an accident. 208 00:09:38,416 --> 00:09:40,293 - Just set it up over there. 209 00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:41,502 What kind of an accident? 210 00:09:41,502 --> 00:09:43,796 None of my equipment's damaged, I hope. 211 00:09:43,796 --> 00:09:45,715 You know, I got a hell of a deal on this stuff. 212 00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:46,799 When you're working with a guy like me, 213 00:09:46,799 --> 00:09:48,426 that's what we're talking, deals. 214 00:09:48,426 --> 00:09:50,011 Let me just show you this little gizmo. 215 00:09:50,011 --> 00:09:51,471 This is the most amazing device. 216 00:09:51,471 --> 00:09:53,389 It samples anything from babies crying 217 00:09:53,389 --> 00:09:54,932 to dogs barking. 218 00:09:54,932 --> 00:09:56,476 Hey, what's the matter with this thing? 219 00:09:56,476 --> 00:09:57,935 It wasn't this that got broken, was it? 220 00:09:57,935 --> 00:09:58,853 - Broken? 221 00:09:58,853 --> 00:09:59,687 - In the accident. 222 00:09:59,687 --> 00:10:01,522 - Stanley, it's not broken. 223 00:10:01,522 --> 00:10:03,858 Besides, it was a car accident. 224 00:10:03,858 --> 00:10:05,401 We're trying to rehearse. 225 00:10:05,401 --> 00:10:06,819 - Car accident? 226 00:10:06,819 --> 00:10:08,488 Nobody killed I hope. 227 00:10:09,405 --> 00:10:10,364 Hit it boys. 228 00:10:11,449 --> 00:10:14,494 ♪ Come to Stanley's, Stan's the man ♪ 229 00:10:14,494 --> 00:10:17,955 ♪ Come to Stanley's, Stan's the man ♪ 230 00:10:17,955 --> 00:10:21,834 ♪ Come to Stanley's, Stan's the man ♪ 231 00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:24,712 ♪ Come to Stanley's Deathpark ♪ 232 00:10:24,712 --> 00:10:26,589 Howdy folks, Stan "The Man' Wilson here 233 00:10:26,589 --> 00:10:28,966 from Stanley's Deathpark where we take the death 234 00:10:28,966 --> 00:10:29,884 out of dying. 235 00:10:29,884 --> 00:10:31,636 This Sunday marks our Heaven on Earth sale 236 00:10:31,636 --> 00:10:34,013 and let's face it folks, it's a sale that some of you 237 00:10:34,013 --> 00:10:36,182 aren't going to miss. 238 00:10:36,182 --> 00:10:37,433 Take a look at this baby, 239 00:10:37,433 --> 00:10:39,352 the streamlined Death 2000, 240 00:10:39,352 --> 00:10:40,311 our top of the line. 241 00:10:40,311 --> 00:10:43,356 This week, yours for only $1995. 242 00:10:43,356 --> 00:10:45,316 A little steep, do I hear you say? 243 00:10:45,316 --> 00:10:46,818 Then how about going Dutch on our 244 00:10:46,818 --> 00:10:50,571 eternal economy model, only $100 over factory invoice. 245 00:10:50,571 --> 00:10:51,405 How do we do it? 246 00:10:51,405 --> 00:10:53,616 Volume, volume, volume. 247 00:10:53,616 --> 00:10:55,743 So, bring the family, come on down and while you're here, 248 00:10:55,743 --> 00:10:59,163 check out our revolutionary cryogenic process. 249 00:10:59,163 --> 00:11:01,582 Open 12 to 12 for your shopping convenience. 250 00:11:01,582 --> 00:11:02,542 See ya here. 251 00:11:06,212 --> 00:11:09,382 ♪ Come to Stanley's, Stan's the man ♪ 252 00:11:09,382 --> 00:11:12,844 ♪ Come to Stanley's, Stan's the man ♪ 253 00:11:12,844 --> 00:11:16,764 ♪ Come to Stanley's, Stan's the man ♪ 254 00:11:16,764 --> 00:11:21,435 ♪ Come to Stanley's Deathpark ♪ 255 00:11:21,435 --> 00:11:23,604 (clapping) 256 00:11:24,647 --> 00:11:27,859 Listen, I directed it myself, you know? 257 00:11:27,859 --> 00:11:31,070 So, uh, what do you think, angel cakes? 258 00:11:33,531 --> 00:11:36,159 - I thought it was kind of cute. 259 00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:40,746 (slow, tense music) 260 00:12:04,103 --> 00:12:07,356 (soft orchestral music) 261 00:12:23,915 --> 00:12:26,083 - [Phoebe] Ralphie, is that you? 262 00:12:26,083 --> 00:12:28,085 - [Ralph] Drat. 263 00:12:28,085 --> 00:12:29,170 Hi, mom. 264 00:12:29,170 --> 00:12:30,213 - It's about time you got home. 265 00:12:30,213 --> 00:12:32,131 I was getting worried about you, honey. 266 00:12:32,131 --> 00:12:33,382 Could you give me a hand with this? 267 00:12:33,382 --> 00:12:34,842 - Sure. 268 00:12:34,842 --> 00:12:38,137 (soft orchestral music) 269 00:12:39,513 --> 00:12:40,348 You been here long? 270 00:12:40,348 --> 00:12:41,349 - Oh, Heaven's no. 271 00:12:41,349 --> 00:12:44,602 I've been here, I mean, we've been here, for hours. 272 00:12:44,602 --> 00:12:45,478 - Who's we? 273 00:12:46,395 --> 00:12:48,773 - I've almost located the Spanish galleon. 274 00:12:48,773 --> 00:12:49,690 It's close. 275 00:12:49,690 --> 00:12:50,900 I can feel it. 276 00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,193 - Great, Jacques Cousteau. 277 00:12:52,193 --> 00:12:55,529 - Just follow that trail of deblooms, Big Al. 278 00:12:55,529 --> 00:12:56,614 Ah. 279 00:12:56,614 --> 00:12:58,699 Big Al, this is my brother, Ralph. 280 00:12:58,699 --> 00:13:01,077 - Big Al Johnson, scrap iron, St. Louis. 281 00:13:01,077 --> 00:13:03,079 - I'm Little Ralph Levee. 282 00:13:03,079 --> 00:13:04,372 - So what's your game Little Ralph? 283 00:13:04,372 --> 00:13:05,206 - Game? 284 00:13:05,206 --> 00:13:06,999 - Yeah, what do you do? 285 00:13:06,999 --> 00:13:08,334 - I'm a vampire. 286 00:13:08,334 --> 00:13:10,544 (laughing) 287 00:13:18,552 --> 00:13:20,680 (moaning) 288 00:13:23,224 --> 00:13:25,309 You make me sick. 289 00:13:25,309 --> 00:13:26,352 - What? 290 00:13:26,352 --> 00:13:27,853 I'm clean. 291 00:13:27,853 --> 00:13:30,481 This is, no, not now, no. 292 00:13:30,481 --> 00:13:33,109 I-- (knocking) 293 00:13:33,109 --> 00:13:35,319 - I'll deal with you later. 294 00:13:40,783 --> 00:13:43,661 I was just going to bed mom, could you hit the light? 295 00:13:43,661 --> 00:13:44,787 - In a minute. 296 00:13:46,914 --> 00:13:48,082 So. 297 00:13:48,082 --> 00:13:49,292 Tell me about your night. 298 00:13:49,292 --> 00:13:50,960 - There's nothing to tell. 299 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,921 - Come on, honey, I know what day it is. 300 00:13:53,921 --> 00:13:54,922 You met her, didn't you? 301 00:13:54,922 --> 00:13:55,756 - I didn't meet her. 302 00:13:55,756 --> 00:13:57,508 I told you, I've had it with the legend ruining my life 303 00:13:57,508 --> 00:13:58,843 every 22 years. 304 00:13:58,843 --> 00:14:00,803 - Ralphie, where's your hat? 305 00:14:00,803 --> 00:14:02,471 - I must have lost it in the car acc-- 306 00:14:02,471 --> 00:14:04,181 Card, card game. 307 00:14:04,181 --> 00:14:06,517 I lost it in a card game, mom. 308 00:14:06,517 --> 00:14:08,102 - Well, okay. 309 00:14:08,102 --> 00:14:09,103 It's your legacy. 310 00:14:09,103 --> 00:14:10,730 You can do anything you want with it. 311 00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:12,481 But whether you've met her or not, 312 00:14:12,481 --> 00:14:13,899 that poor girl is gonna die in two weeks 313 00:14:13,899 --> 00:14:16,610 unless you do something about it. 314 00:14:21,365 --> 00:14:23,492 (howling) 315 00:14:25,202 --> 00:14:26,412 Honey. 316 00:14:26,412 --> 00:14:27,371 Go to sleep. 317 00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:31,625 (door slamming) 318 00:14:33,336 --> 00:14:36,297 (upbeat rock music) 319 00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:45,514 ♪ Every girl needs a hero ♪ 320 00:14:45,514 --> 00:14:48,476 ♪ Every girl needs a Romeo ♪ 321 00:14:48,476 --> 00:14:53,439 ♪ To capture her heart ♪ 322 00:14:54,565 --> 00:14:58,861 ♪ Every man needs a girl in distress ♪ 323 00:14:58,861 --> 00:15:02,490 ♪ Tied to the feisty lips ♪ 324 00:15:02,490 --> 00:15:07,453 ♪ Torn dress ♪ 325 00:15:08,579 --> 00:15:12,750 ♪ I can tell by how you look at me ♪ 326 00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:17,129 ♪ There's a lover in your eyes ♪ 327 00:15:17,129 --> 00:15:20,966 ♪ But my heart is under lock and key ♪ 328 00:15:20,966 --> 00:15:25,930 ♪ And it waits for you and cries ♪ 329 00:15:26,972 --> 00:15:28,349 ♪ Oh ♪ 330 00:15:28,349 --> 00:15:33,312 ♪ Break these chains on my heart, chains on my heart ♪ 331 00:15:34,605 --> 00:15:37,274 ♪ Only you can set me free ♪ 332 00:15:37,274 --> 00:15:42,238 ♪ Break these chains on my heart, chains on my heart ♪ 333 00:15:43,489 --> 00:15:46,867 ♪ I'll wait for you to rescue me ♪ 334 00:15:46,867 --> 00:15:49,745 ♪ And if it takes forever ♪ 335 00:15:49,745 --> 00:15:53,874 ♪ I will wait for you, wait for you ♪ 336 00:15:55,376 --> 00:15:59,505 (upbeat rock music) (people cheering) 337 00:16:11,517 --> 00:16:12,309 - Hey. 338 00:16:20,401 --> 00:16:21,193 - No! 339 00:16:24,071 --> 00:16:26,782 (men chattering) 340 00:16:38,669 --> 00:16:39,712 (cheering) 341 00:16:39,712 --> 00:16:40,504 - Hey. 342 00:16:41,922 --> 00:16:43,340 - Is it true that you've forsaken your legacy 343 00:16:43,340 --> 00:16:46,135 and the girl of your dreams? 344 00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:46,927 - What? 345 00:16:48,179 --> 00:16:50,389 (cheering) 346 00:16:53,309 --> 00:16:55,436 (banging) 347 00:17:05,404 --> 00:17:08,699 (loud banging) 348 00:17:08,699 --> 00:17:09,492 No. 349 00:17:10,534 --> 00:17:12,828 (screaming) 350 00:17:19,293 --> 00:17:21,712 - Ralph, what are you doing? 351 00:17:21,712 --> 00:17:23,088 Ralph, answer me. 352 00:17:24,048 --> 00:17:25,424 - I'm gonna find her. 353 00:17:25,424 --> 00:17:26,425 - And do what? 354 00:17:26,425 --> 00:17:27,259 - What do you think? 355 00:17:27,259 --> 00:17:28,093 I'm gonna save her. 356 00:17:28,093 --> 00:17:29,470 - Yeah, I've heard that song before. 357 00:17:29,470 --> 00:17:30,804 - No, no, it's different. 358 00:17:30,804 --> 00:17:32,223 I just have this feeling that if I don't save her 359 00:17:32,223 --> 00:17:35,684 this time, I'm gonna lose her forever. 360 00:17:35,684 --> 00:17:36,685 - [Reflection Ralph] You're no exactly playing 361 00:17:36,685 --> 00:17:38,562 major league ball now. 362 00:17:38,562 --> 00:17:39,396 What are you? 363 00:17:39,396 --> 00:17:40,231 Zero for fourteen. 364 00:17:40,231 --> 00:17:42,858 Oh excuse me, is it 15 now? 365 00:17:42,858 --> 00:17:44,985 - [Ralph] You're a total dick you know that? 366 00:17:44,985 --> 00:17:47,947 (hissing) 367 00:17:47,947 --> 00:17:49,365 - You're gonna go out in the sunlight? 368 00:17:49,365 --> 00:17:50,866 - I'm protected. 369 00:17:50,866 --> 00:17:51,909 - Brave man. 370 00:17:51,909 --> 00:17:54,036 How you gonna find her? 371 00:17:54,036 --> 00:17:54,870 - She's in a band. 372 00:17:54,870 --> 00:17:56,121 How hard could she be to find? 373 00:17:56,121 --> 00:17:58,874 - Ralph, there must be 15,000 bands in the tri-state area. 374 00:17:58,874 --> 00:18:00,292 That's a lot of ground. 375 00:18:00,292 --> 00:18:01,794 How are you gonna cover it? 376 00:18:01,794 --> 00:18:03,504 - I'm a vampire, I'll fly. 377 00:18:03,504 --> 00:18:04,797 - No, no, no! 378 00:18:04,797 --> 00:18:08,926 (Ralph screaming) Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 379 00:18:10,594 --> 00:18:13,597 (groaning) 380 00:18:13,597 --> 00:18:17,059 (birds chirping) 381 00:18:17,059 --> 00:18:19,353 - I think I'll take the bus. 382 00:18:20,479 --> 00:18:21,689 - What a loser. 383 00:18:24,608 --> 00:18:27,570 (upbeat rock music) 384 00:18:30,864 --> 00:18:33,492 ♪ Hey ♪ 385 00:18:33,492 --> 00:18:36,453 (upbeat rock music) 386 00:18:45,337 --> 00:18:48,382 ♪ Now come on ♪ 387 00:18:48,382 --> 00:18:50,175 ♪ Hey Mona ♪ 388 00:18:50,175 --> 00:18:53,220 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 389 00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:54,179 ♪ Hey Mona ♪ 390 00:18:54,179 --> 00:18:56,932 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 391 00:18:56,932 --> 00:18:58,517 ♪ Hey Mona ♪ 392 00:18:58,517 --> 00:19:01,854 ♪ Well hey, hey, hey, hey Mona ♪ 393 00:19:01,854 --> 00:19:02,855 ♪ Hey Mona ♪ 394 00:19:02,855 --> 00:19:05,441 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 395 00:19:05,441 --> 00:19:09,778 ♪ Hey Mona, hey hey Mona ♪ 396 00:19:09,778 --> 00:19:11,822 ♪ Hey Mona ♪ 397 00:19:11,822 --> 00:19:13,866 ♪ Hey Mona ♪ 398 00:19:13,866 --> 00:19:15,826 ♪ I been to the east ♪ 399 00:19:15,826 --> 00:19:18,162 ♪ I been to the west ♪ 400 00:19:18,162 --> 00:19:22,374 ♪ I ask my homeboys, have no rest, I said ♪ 401 00:19:22,374 --> 00:19:26,587 ♪ Have you seen my Mona ♪ 402 00:19:26,587 --> 00:19:30,466 ♪ Have you seen my girl ♪ 403 00:19:30,466 --> 00:19:34,136 ♪ I can't say how and I can't say when ♪ 404 00:19:34,136 --> 00:19:38,432 ♪ But I'm gonna bring my Mona back home again ♪ 405 00:19:38,432 --> 00:19:39,391 ♪ I said hey ♪ 406 00:19:39,391 --> 00:19:40,934 ♪ Hey Mona ♪ 407 00:19:40,934 --> 00:19:43,604 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 408 00:19:43,604 --> 00:19:45,147 ♪ Hey Mona ♪ 409 00:19:45,147 --> 00:19:47,900 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 410 00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:49,443 ♪ Hey Mona ♪ 411 00:19:49,443 --> 00:19:52,112 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 412 00:19:52,112 --> 00:19:53,781 ♪ Hey Mona ♪ 413 00:19:53,781 --> 00:19:56,325 ♪ M-M-M-M-M-M Mona ♪ 414 00:19:56,325 --> 00:20:00,788 ♪ Hey Mona, hey, hey, Mona ♪ 415 00:20:00,788 --> 00:20:02,247 ♪ Hey Mona ♪ 416 00:20:02,247 --> 00:20:04,833 ♪ Hey, hey Mona ♪ 417 00:20:04,833 --> 00:20:06,919 ♪ I been to the nightclub ♪ 418 00:20:06,919 --> 00:20:09,004 ♪ I been to the street ♪ 419 00:20:09,004 --> 00:20:10,839 ♪ I ask everybody ♪ 420 00:20:10,839 --> 00:20:13,592 ♪ Everyone I meet, I say ♪ 421 00:20:13,592 --> 00:20:14,968 ♪ Have you seen my Mona ♪ 422 00:20:14,968 --> 00:20:16,679 Hey Ralphie, you wanna play some hoop? 423 00:20:16,679 --> 00:20:19,306 (ball bouncing) 424 00:20:21,392 --> 00:20:23,769 Have you seen a yellow brick road around here? 425 00:20:23,769 --> 00:20:25,979 - Do you think I'm doing the right thing? 426 00:20:25,979 --> 00:20:27,398 - What do you mean? 427 00:20:27,398 --> 00:20:30,150 - I mean, maybe I wasn't meant to find Mona. 428 00:20:30,150 --> 00:20:32,986 Maybe this is just some sort of karmic debt 429 00:20:32,986 --> 00:20:33,904 I'm paying off. 430 00:20:33,904 --> 00:20:36,490 Maybe my first instincts were right. 431 00:20:36,490 --> 00:20:39,535 Maybe I should just forget about this whole thing 432 00:20:39,535 --> 00:20:41,370 and join a monastery. 433 00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:43,288 But, what about Mona? 434 00:20:43,288 --> 00:20:46,208 What sort of everlasting hell am I damning her to? 435 00:20:46,208 --> 00:20:47,835 Maybe, no, yeah, no. 436 00:20:48,836 --> 00:20:49,753 I should be strong. 437 00:20:49,753 --> 00:20:50,963 I'll be strong. 438 00:20:50,963 --> 00:20:51,797 - Hey. 439 00:20:51,797 --> 00:20:52,631 Would you make up your mind? 440 00:20:52,631 --> 00:20:55,676 I'm feeling like Sonny and Cher here. 441 00:20:59,346 --> 00:21:00,472 That's better. 442 00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:02,850 I wonder if, uh... 443 00:21:04,059 --> 00:21:05,561 (unzipping) 444 00:21:05,561 --> 00:21:06,687 (laughing) 445 00:21:06,687 --> 00:21:08,897 Ralph, would you look at the size of this? 446 00:21:08,897 --> 00:21:12,276 - Oh Christ, would you put that thing away? 447 00:21:12,276 --> 00:21:13,235 (zipping) - Listen. 448 00:21:13,235 --> 00:21:15,028 If you were meant to find Mona, you will. 449 00:21:15,028 --> 00:21:17,906 If you weren't you won't, so relax. 450 00:21:23,370 --> 00:21:24,663 See what I mean? 451 00:21:25,581 --> 00:21:28,459 (upbeat pop music) 452 00:21:40,179 --> 00:21:41,889 ♪ What's your game ♪ 453 00:21:41,889 --> 00:21:43,974 ♪ What's the deal ♪ 454 00:21:43,974 --> 00:21:48,061 ♪ Now I know how a wild animal feels ♪ 455 00:21:48,061 --> 00:21:49,813 ♪ These other guys ♪ 456 00:21:49,813 --> 00:21:51,815 ♪ When they try ♪ 457 00:21:51,815 --> 00:21:56,278 ♪ Can't release me from this feeling inside ♪ 458 00:21:56,278 --> 00:21:57,905 ♪ Want to hold ♪ 459 00:21:57,905 --> 00:21:59,823 ♪ Want to touch ♪ 460 00:21:59,823 --> 00:22:02,075 ♪ Feel your heartbeat ♪ 461 00:22:02,075 --> 00:22:05,579 ♪ I want you too much ♪ 462 00:22:05,579 --> 00:22:09,333 ♪ We could have a thing between us, you know ♪ 463 00:22:09,333 --> 00:22:11,877 ♪ Just you and me ♪ 464 00:22:11,877 --> 00:22:13,754 ♪ Any time you want more ♪ 465 00:22:13,754 --> 00:22:15,798 ♪ Here's the key to my door ♪ 466 00:22:15,798 --> 00:22:17,591 ♪ I'm what you're waiting for ♪ 467 00:22:17,591 --> 00:22:19,676 ♪ Turn me loose ♪ 468 00:22:19,676 --> 00:22:23,597 ♪ If I'm losing control and won't do what I'm told ♪ 469 00:22:23,597 --> 00:22:28,185 ♪ If I'm too hard to hold, turn me loose ♪ 470 00:22:28,185 --> 00:22:31,563 ♪ Turn me ♪ 471 00:22:31,563 --> 00:22:36,068 ♪ Turn me loose ♪ 472 00:22:36,068 --> 00:22:39,446 ♪ Turn me ♪ 473 00:22:39,446 --> 00:22:42,074 ♪ Turn me loose ♪ 474 00:22:43,116 --> 00:22:45,994 (upbeat pop music) 475 00:22:47,579 --> 00:22:49,373 ♪ Nothing more ♪ 476 00:22:49,373 --> 00:22:51,416 ♪ To explain ♪ 477 00:22:51,416 --> 00:22:53,794 ♪ Kiss me now ♪ 478 00:22:53,794 --> 00:22:55,379 ♪ Drive me insane ♪ 479 00:22:55,379 --> 00:22:59,383 ♪ In the dark moonlit night ♪ 480 00:22:59,383 --> 00:23:01,385 ♪ Capture me ♪ 481 00:23:01,385 --> 00:23:03,387 ♪ In your arms, hold me tight ♪ 482 00:23:03,387 --> 00:23:07,391 ♪ Like the breeze when I'm hot ♪ 483 00:23:07,391 --> 00:23:09,351 ♪ You can free me ♪ 484 00:23:09,351 --> 00:23:12,563 ♪ Give me what you've got ♪ 485 00:23:12,563 --> 00:23:15,858 ♪ Don't tell me have a nice day ♪ 486 00:23:15,858 --> 00:23:19,444 ♪ If you can't make my night ♪ 487 00:23:19,444 --> 00:23:21,238 ♪ Any time you want more ♪ 488 00:23:21,238 --> 00:23:23,198 ♪ Here's the key to my door ♪ 489 00:23:23,198 --> 00:23:27,202 ♪ I'm what you're waiting for, turn me loose ♪ 490 00:23:27,202 --> 00:23:31,081 ♪ If I'm losing control and won't do what I'm told ♪ 491 00:23:31,081 --> 00:23:35,669 ♪ If I'm too hard to hold, turn me loose ♪ 492 00:23:35,669 --> 00:23:39,131 ♪ Turn me ♪ 493 00:23:39,131 --> 00:23:43,552 ♪ Turn me loose ♪ 494 00:23:43,552 --> 00:23:47,014 ♪ Turn me ♪ 495 00:23:47,014 --> 00:23:49,641 ♪ Turn me loose ♪ 496 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:54,438 (upbeat pop music) 497 00:24:07,618 --> 00:24:10,746 ♪ Turn me ♪ 498 00:24:10,746 --> 00:24:15,250 ♪ Turn me loose ♪ 499 00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:18,712 ♪ Turn me ♪ 500 00:24:18,712 --> 00:24:23,216 ♪ Turn me loose ♪ 501 00:24:23,216 --> 00:24:26,637 ♪ Turn me ♪ 502 00:24:26,637 --> 00:24:31,099 ♪ Turn me loose ♪ 503 00:24:31,099 --> 00:24:34,603 ♪ Turn me ♪ 504 00:24:34,603 --> 00:24:39,066 ♪ Turn me loose ♪ 505 00:24:39,066 --> 00:24:42,527 ♪ Turn me ♪ 506 00:24:42,527 --> 00:24:46,907 ♪ Turn me loose ♪ 507 00:24:46,907 --> 00:24:50,452 ♪ Turn me ♪ 508 00:24:50,452 --> 00:24:54,915 ♪ Turn me loose ♪ 509 00:24:54,915 --> 00:24:57,042 ♪ Turn me ♪ 510 00:24:58,710 --> 00:25:02,839 (applause) (cheering) 511 00:25:05,509 --> 00:25:08,470 (people chattering) 512 00:25:24,277 --> 00:25:25,278 - [Mona] Oh my god. 513 00:25:25,278 --> 00:25:26,238 That's him. 514 00:25:26,238 --> 00:25:27,614 - [Robin] That's who? 515 00:25:27,614 --> 00:25:28,448 Where? 516 00:25:28,448 --> 00:25:30,659 - [Mona] Stay here. 517 00:25:30,659 --> 00:25:34,788 (slow music) (people chattering) 518 00:25:41,211 --> 00:25:42,045 Who are you? 519 00:25:42,045 --> 00:25:43,505 - I'm Ralph. 520 00:25:43,505 --> 00:25:44,506 I like your music. 521 00:25:44,506 --> 00:25:46,967 It's kind of wild, kind of now, kind of-- 522 00:25:46,967 --> 00:25:48,510 - Why are you following me? 523 00:25:48,510 --> 00:25:49,761 - I'm not following you. 524 00:25:49,761 --> 00:25:51,221 - Yes you are. 525 00:25:51,221 --> 00:25:53,056 - Okay, I'm following you. 526 00:25:53,056 --> 00:25:55,434 I'm a big fan of yours from way back. 527 00:25:55,434 --> 00:25:56,643 - Who are you? 528 00:25:56,643 --> 00:25:57,769 - I told you, I'm Ralph-- 529 00:25:57,769 --> 00:25:59,688 - No, I mean, what do you do? 530 00:25:59,688 --> 00:26:01,106 Are you a musician? 531 00:26:01,106 --> 00:26:02,107 - Yes. 532 00:26:02,107 --> 00:26:03,400 - Do you have a band? 533 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,651 Or do you play by yourself? 534 00:26:04,651 --> 00:26:05,944 - Um, yes. 535 00:26:05,944 --> 00:26:07,571 - Yes, what? 536 00:26:07,571 --> 00:26:09,406 - Yes, I have a band. 537 00:26:09,406 --> 00:26:10,699 - What's the name? 538 00:26:10,699 --> 00:26:11,616 - The name. 539 00:26:11,616 --> 00:26:13,243 - Of the band. 540 00:26:13,243 --> 00:26:14,119 - Um. 541 00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:16,079 We haven't decided yet. 542 00:26:16,079 --> 00:26:19,041 - Oh, um, well what kind of music? 543 00:26:19,041 --> 00:26:23,712 - Well the music, we're not sure yet what it is. 544 00:26:23,712 --> 00:26:25,088 - Well, 545 00:26:25,088 --> 00:26:26,965 do you play around? 546 00:26:26,965 --> 00:26:29,426 (hitting) 547 00:26:29,426 --> 00:26:30,719 - Excuse me? 548 00:26:30,719 --> 00:26:33,513 - Your band, are you playing any gigs anywhere? 549 00:26:33,513 --> 00:26:36,641 - Gigs, yes, all the time, it's amazing, yeah, yeah. 550 00:26:36,641 --> 00:26:38,351 - You are very strange, Ralph. 551 00:26:38,351 --> 00:26:39,186 (Ralph mumbling) 552 00:26:39,186 --> 00:26:40,937 - Mona, darling, I've got some terribly important people 553 00:26:40,937 --> 00:26:42,147 just dying to meet you. 554 00:26:42,147 --> 00:26:43,398 Will you excuse us? 555 00:26:43,398 --> 00:26:44,232 - Yeah. 556 00:26:44,232 --> 00:26:46,651 - Um, it was so nice to see you again. 557 00:26:46,651 --> 00:26:48,695 Maybe I'll come see your band sometime. 558 00:26:48,695 --> 00:26:49,488 - Maybe. 559 00:26:51,323 --> 00:26:52,949 - Who is that twerp? 560 00:26:54,409 --> 00:26:56,620 - Hey hey little man. 561 00:26:56,620 --> 00:26:57,746 Can I help ya? 562 00:26:58,789 --> 00:26:59,956 - No, I'm enjoying this party-- 563 00:26:59,956 --> 00:27:01,124 - Hey, what's this? 564 00:27:01,124 --> 00:27:02,000 (hitting) - Ouch! 565 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,502 - Bounce him. 566 00:27:03,502 --> 00:27:05,837 (Ralph yelling) 567 00:27:05,837 --> 00:27:07,714 (cat meowing) 568 00:27:07,714 --> 00:27:10,050 (spitting) 569 00:27:10,050 --> 00:27:12,928 (slow blues music) 570 00:27:15,180 --> 00:27:17,599 - Now let me get this straight. 571 00:27:17,599 --> 00:27:19,643 You decided to find her. 572 00:27:19,643 --> 00:27:20,852 - And once you found her? 573 00:27:20,852 --> 00:27:24,064 - I turned into a blithering idiot. 574 00:27:24,064 --> 00:27:26,942 (slow blues music) 575 00:27:30,695 --> 00:27:34,991 There was a moment there, when she was onstage, 576 00:27:34,991 --> 00:27:36,618 and our eyes locked, 577 00:27:38,745 --> 00:27:42,040 it was like time stood still, you know? 578 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:42,958 (hitting piano) 579 00:27:42,958 --> 00:27:43,792 What is wrong with me? 580 00:27:43,792 --> 00:27:46,795 I am a musician, and a pretty darn good one at that. 581 00:27:46,795 --> 00:27:48,713 - So, what happened? 582 00:27:48,713 --> 00:27:51,591 (slow blues music) 583 00:27:53,677 --> 00:27:55,762 - Let's face it, I don't have what it takes. 584 00:27:55,762 --> 00:27:58,473 How can I save her if I can't even talk to her? 585 00:27:58,473 --> 00:28:00,851 "Maybe I'll see your band sometime" she says. 586 00:28:00,851 --> 00:28:02,602 What a joke. 587 00:28:02,602 --> 00:28:05,772 (slow blues music) 588 00:28:05,772 --> 00:28:06,606 - Why don't you-- 589 00:28:06,606 --> 00:28:07,440 - Why don't you-- 590 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,611 (binging) - Start my own band. 591 00:28:11,611 --> 00:28:14,489 (upbeat pop music) 592 00:28:46,438 --> 00:28:47,355 - You're doing what? 593 00:28:47,355 --> 00:28:49,024 Starting a rock band? 594 00:28:49,024 --> 00:28:51,651 A vampire in a rock band. 595 00:28:51,651 --> 00:28:52,986 What are you going to call it? 596 00:28:52,986 --> 00:28:53,778 Rockula? 597 00:28:54,988 --> 00:28:56,072 - [All] Rockula? 598 00:28:56,072 --> 00:28:56,865 - Rockula. 599 00:28:57,741 --> 00:29:00,035 (whistling) 600 00:29:02,078 --> 00:29:04,956 (doorbell buzzing) 601 00:29:14,341 --> 00:29:17,636 (upbeat pop rock music) 602 00:29:24,851 --> 00:29:26,353 - [Stanley] Like, um, 603 00:29:26,353 --> 00:29:28,438 'cause just like my psychic says, 604 00:29:28,438 --> 00:29:31,358 death, right, is just a stepping stone to rebirth. 605 00:29:31,358 --> 00:29:33,568 I mean, I think it was Nietzsche that said I'm just 606 00:29:33,568 --> 00:29:35,987 "Living to die and dying to live." 607 00:29:35,987 --> 00:29:36,821 - Nietzsche said that? 608 00:29:36,821 --> 00:29:38,448 - Yeah, you know, Johnny Nietzsche, 609 00:29:38,448 --> 00:29:42,118 in that band, uh, Marvin Gandhi and the Monkeyshines. 610 00:29:42,118 --> 00:29:43,078 New age reggae. 611 00:29:43,078 --> 00:29:44,621 - You're such a dork, Stanley. 612 00:29:44,621 --> 00:29:46,248 - You take that back. 613 00:29:46,248 --> 00:29:47,290 - Okay. 614 00:29:47,290 --> 00:29:49,042 You're an egotistical, pseudo-intellectual, 615 00:29:49,042 --> 00:29:50,669 money grubbing slut. 616 00:29:53,255 --> 00:29:54,464 - I'll buy that. 617 00:29:54,464 --> 00:29:56,091 - Hey! (cheering) 618 00:29:56,091 --> 00:29:57,384 Thank you! 619 00:29:57,384 --> 00:29:59,594 (cheering) 620 00:30:00,512 --> 00:30:04,307 I'm Ted Brady, this is Club Hell, thanks for coming, kids. 621 00:30:04,307 --> 00:30:08,603 (kissing) (cheering) 622 00:30:08,603 --> 00:30:12,023 You kids, you kids, are rock 'n roll, 623 00:30:12,023 --> 00:30:14,067 you are the rock 'n roll, 624 00:30:15,485 --> 00:30:17,404 and this kid is Rockula. 625 00:30:23,076 --> 00:30:26,204 (slow, creepy music) 626 00:30:27,580 --> 00:30:30,542 (upbeat rock music) 627 00:30:42,304 --> 00:30:46,391 ♪ He don't walk ♪ 628 00:30:46,391 --> 00:30:50,562 ♪ He glides ♪ 629 00:30:50,562 --> 00:30:52,689 ♪ With bat wings and fangs ♪ 630 00:30:52,689 --> 00:30:54,357 ♪ He's a bloodthirsty dude ♪ 631 00:30:54,357 --> 00:30:58,361 ♪ Neighbors cry ♪ 632 00:30:58,361 --> 00:31:02,198 ♪ But he won't ♪ 633 00:31:02,198 --> 00:31:06,453 ♪ Hurt a fly ♪ 634 00:31:06,453 --> 00:31:09,748 ♪ If it wasn't for Red Cross donations ♪ 635 00:31:09,748 --> 00:31:14,669 ♪ This vampire would die ♪ 636 00:31:14,878 --> 00:31:18,923 ♪ Lived home with mother for 300 years ♪ 637 00:31:18,923 --> 00:31:22,969 ♪ Bought his new cape at the neighborhood Sears ♪ 638 00:31:22,969 --> 00:31:26,639 ♪ It's not a bird, not a plane that you saw ♪ 639 00:31:26,639 --> 00:31:29,684 ♪ Crashing into that solid brick wall ♪ 640 00:31:29,684 --> 00:31:32,854 ♪ He's Rockula ♪ 641 00:31:32,854 --> 00:31:35,815 (upbeat rock music) 642 00:31:37,442 --> 00:31:42,405 ♪ He's Rockula ♪ 643 00:31:46,451 --> 00:31:50,497 ♪ He ain't mean ♪ 644 00:31:50,497 --> 00:31:54,542 ♪ He's nice ♪ 645 00:31:54,542 --> 00:31:57,754 ♪ He don't neck on first dates ♪ 646 00:31:57,754 --> 00:32:02,509 ♪ That's his mother's advice ♪ 647 00:32:02,509 --> 00:32:06,471 ♪ So he stays ♪ 648 00:32:06,471 --> 00:32:10,558 ♪ Home at nights ♪ 649 00:32:10,558 --> 00:32:12,560 ♪ Orders Chinese take out ♪ 650 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:16,147 - Some chow mein and a bowl of steamed rice, please. 651 00:32:16,147 --> 00:32:16,940 Thank you. 652 00:32:19,192 --> 00:32:22,654 ♪ Careful, he's trying to take off again ♪ 653 00:32:22,654 --> 00:32:24,823 ♪ As he jumps out the window ♪ 654 00:32:24,823 --> 00:32:27,033 ♪ And lands on his head ♪ 655 00:32:27,033 --> 00:32:30,662 ♪ This kind of vampire you've never heard of ♪ 656 00:32:30,662 --> 00:32:33,748 ♪ One that faints at the sight of fresh blood ♪ 657 00:32:33,748 --> 00:32:36,709 ♪ He's Rockula ♪ 658 00:32:36,709 --> 00:32:40,004 (upbeat pop rock music) 659 00:32:41,673 --> 00:32:44,217 ♪ He's Rockula ♪ 660 00:32:45,260 --> 00:32:48,555 (upbeat pop rock music) 661 00:32:49,681 --> 00:32:53,101 ♪ He's Rockula ♪ 662 00:32:53,101 --> 00:32:56,396 (upbeat pop rock music) 663 00:32:57,814 --> 00:33:00,358 ♪ He's Rockula ♪ 664 00:33:01,693 --> 00:33:04,988 (upbeat pop rock music) 665 00:33:08,074 --> 00:33:10,201 (howling) 666 00:33:13,204 --> 00:33:17,333 (cheering) (applause) 667 00:33:26,926 --> 00:33:28,136 - Where's Mona? 668 00:33:29,053 --> 00:33:33,183 (cheering) (applause) 669 00:33:35,393 --> 00:33:37,896 - Rockula, that sounds of yours is just great. 670 00:33:37,896 --> 00:33:39,731 - I saw you rock, man, I want my sick gloves back. 671 00:33:39,731 --> 00:33:40,648 - Killer lesson. 672 00:33:40,648 --> 00:33:42,108 - Totally styling. 673 00:33:46,112 --> 00:33:48,323 - Hey dude, move your gear. 674 00:33:54,704 --> 00:33:57,081 (soft music) 675 00:33:59,751 --> 00:34:00,835 - [Mona] I'm still trying to figure out 676 00:34:00,835 --> 00:34:02,128 where I know you from. 677 00:34:02,128 --> 00:34:04,047 You seem so familiar to me. 678 00:34:04,047 --> 00:34:05,548 Maybe it was a past life. 679 00:34:05,548 --> 00:34:06,382 - [Ralph] What? 680 00:34:06,382 --> 00:34:07,800 - [Mona] Relax, that was just a joke. 681 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,595 - [Ralph] Listen, do you believe in vampires? 682 00:34:10,595 --> 00:34:13,306 - That's very funny, Ralph. 683 00:34:13,306 --> 00:34:15,683 (soft music) 684 00:34:19,812 --> 00:34:20,605 Well. 685 00:34:23,525 --> 00:34:24,817 Well this is it. 686 00:34:28,279 --> 00:34:30,740 Thank you for walking me home. 687 00:34:34,202 --> 00:34:36,955 - Would you like to see me again? 688 00:34:36,955 --> 00:34:37,747 - Yes. 689 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:39,874 Tomorrow? 690 00:34:39,874 --> 00:34:41,084 - Okay. - Okay. 691 00:34:44,420 --> 00:34:45,296 Good night. 692 00:34:50,468 --> 00:34:52,845 (soft music) 693 00:35:02,438 --> 00:35:05,358 (slow, tense music) 694 00:35:05,358 --> 00:35:08,069 - [Ralph] Where is that guy when you need him? 695 00:35:08,069 --> 00:35:09,445 - Hey Mr. Rockstar. 696 00:35:09,445 --> 00:35:10,572 - Where have you been? 697 00:35:10,572 --> 00:35:14,701 - Well you're not the only one that can start a band. 698 00:35:22,375 --> 00:35:23,501 So? 699 00:35:23,501 --> 00:35:25,044 - So, what? 700 00:35:25,044 --> 00:35:26,629 - So what's she like? 701 00:35:26,629 --> 00:35:27,714 - Oh. 702 00:35:27,714 --> 00:35:29,257 She's great. 703 00:35:29,257 --> 00:35:30,800 It was really worth the wait this time. 704 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:32,385 - Groovy. 705 00:35:32,385 --> 00:35:33,219 So did you get any? 706 00:35:33,219 --> 00:35:34,053 - Any what? 707 00:35:34,053 --> 00:35:36,264 - You know, muff, nookie, poontang. 708 00:35:36,264 --> 00:35:38,516 - You are so crass, is that all you ever think about? 709 00:35:38,516 --> 00:35:40,643 - Listen Ralph, I don't have a love life of my own 710 00:35:40,643 --> 00:35:43,021 so I wanna share in yours. 711 00:35:43,021 --> 00:35:45,773 Now, start from the beginning and be graphic. 712 00:35:45,773 --> 00:35:47,233 - Forget it. 713 00:35:47,233 --> 00:35:50,111 - You didn't score, did you? 714 00:35:50,111 --> 00:35:52,405 (grumbling) 715 00:35:56,659 --> 00:35:57,869 - Knock it off! 716 00:36:01,289 --> 00:36:02,790 She did kiss me, though. 717 00:36:02,790 --> 00:36:03,833 - Really? 718 00:36:03,833 --> 00:36:04,792 Was it? 719 00:36:04,792 --> 00:36:06,085 - Unbelievable. 720 00:36:06,085 --> 00:36:07,128 - Slip her the tongue? 721 00:36:07,128 --> 00:36:08,129 - It was on the cheek. 722 00:36:08,129 --> 00:36:09,088 - Loser! 723 00:36:09,088 --> 00:36:10,465 - You never stop. 724 00:36:12,425 --> 00:36:13,551 Bye mom, I'll see you later. 725 00:36:13,551 --> 00:36:16,387 - Well don't you look cute and where are you going? 726 00:36:16,387 --> 00:36:17,221 - Out. 727 00:36:17,221 --> 00:36:18,056 - With who? 728 00:36:18,056 --> 00:36:18,890 - Friends. 729 00:36:18,890 --> 00:36:19,932 - And when will you back? 730 00:36:19,932 --> 00:36:20,767 - Later. 731 00:36:20,767 --> 00:36:22,060 - You met her, didn't you? 732 00:36:22,060 --> 00:36:23,061 - Duh, mom. 733 00:36:23,061 --> 00:36:25,188 - Oh, honey, I'm so happy. 734 00:36:26,439 --> 00:36:27,523 - [Ralph] You're crushing my suit. 735 00:36:27,523 --> 00:36:29,776 - Oh, we're gonna have to have her over for dinner. 736 00:36:29,776 --> 00:36:31,527 - I'd rather not do that right now, mom. 737 00:36:31,527 --> 00:36:34,489 - Oh, you're ashamed of your mother! 738 00:36:35,448 --> 00:36:36,783 That's it, isn't it? - No, that's not. 739 00:36:36,783 --> 00:36:37,617 That's not it. 740 00:36:37,617 --> 00:36:39,160 It's that she's gonna be in of a big shock 741 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:41,120 when I tell her and I wanna break it to her easy, 742 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,163 by myself. 743 00:36:42,163 --> 00:36:44,040 I'm not ashamed of you, mom. 744 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:45,458 I love you. 745 00:36:45,458 --> 00:36:46,542 - Oh. 746 00:36:46,542 --> 00:36:48,211 I must look a mess. 747 00:36:48,211 --> 00:36:50,421 Oh, I'm sorry, honey, of course you're right. 748 00:36:50,421 --> 00:36:52,715 But promise me you won't elope. 749 00:36:52,715 --> 00:36:55,134 Because I want a big wedding. 750 00:36:55,134 --> 00:36:55,968 - Of course. 751 00:36:55,968 --> 00:36:56,761 And you're not a mess. 752 00:36:56,761 --> 00:36:59,389 You look better than most women a 10th your age. 753 00:36:59,389 --> 00:37:00,348 - I know. 754 00:37:00,348 --> 00:37:01,557 You're a dear. 755 00:37:01,557 --> 00:37:04,727 I honestly don't know what I'd do without my boy. 756 00:37:04,727 --> 00:37:05,978 Now what are you standing there for? 757 00:37:05,978 --> 00:37:08,147 Now you go off and you have a good time. 758 00:37:08,147 --> 00:37:10,608 And you give Mona a big kiss (kissing) from mommy. 759 00:37:10,608 --> 00:37:11,567 - Okay, bye. 760 00:37:11,567 --> 00:37:12,360 - Oh. 761 00:37:13,277 --> 00:37:15,655 (slow music) 762 00:37:22,745 --> 00:37:24,872 (hissing) 763 00:37:26,582 --> 00:37:28,626 - But what struck me the most were his eyes. 764 00:37:28,626 --> 00:37:30,753 I mean, they almost seemed haunted, didn't they? 765 00:37:30,753 --> 00:37:32,338 - You wanna know what happened that day? 766 00:37:32,338 --> 00:37:34,382 Egon was married to this girl, Mary or Maddie, 767 00:37:34,382 --> 00:37:35,800 I can't believe I forgot her name. 768 00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:36,676 Anyway. 769 00:37:36,676 --> 00:37:38,010 He had this girl posing for him. 770 00:37:38,010 --> 00:37:40,054 She was 16, she was gorgeous, she was beautiful. 771 00:37:40,054 --> 00:37:41,472 They started shacking up. 772 00:37:41,472 --> 00:37:43,391 And the day that Mary found out, 773 00:37:43,391 --> 00:37:45,601 she walked in on them and was gonna tell Egon 774 00:37:45,601 --> 00:37:47,270 that she was pregnant. 775 00:37:47,270 --> 00:37:48,438 - Well did she leave him? 776 00:37:48,438 --> 00:37:52,358 - No, god, she was like this glutton for punishment. 777 00:37:52,358 --> 00:37:53,401 - Ralph. 778 00:37:53,401 --> 00:37:55,945 How do you know about all this? 779 00:37:55,945 --> 00:37:58,197 - I don't know, why? 780 00:37:58,197 --> 00:38:00,283 - You were talking about it as, I don't know, 781 00:38:00,283 --> 00:38:01,784 almost as if you had been there or something. 782 00:38:01,784 --> 00:38:03,661 - That was like over 100 years ago. 783 00:38:03,661 --> 00:38:06,956 I couldn't have been, I read it, in art class, that's it. 784 00:38:06,956 --> 00:38:08,416 - Oh. 785 00:38:08,416 --> 00:38:09,667 You're a good story teller Ralph. 786 00:38:09,667 --> 00:38:13,045 - Yeah, I got a couple of doozies for ya. 787 00:38:14,964 --> 00:38:19,886 (upbeat music) (woman making noises) 788 00:38:19,886 --> 00:38:21,596 - [Madam Ben Wa] I see a girl. 789 00:38:21,596 --> 00:38:24,265 Her name is, uh, Mona? 790 00:38:24,265 --> 00:38:25,808 - Yeah, right, right, my girlfriend. 791 00:38:25,808 --> 00:38:27,602 I mean my ex-girlfriend. 792 00:38:27,602 --> 00:38:28,686 - Oh. 793 00:38:28,686 --> 00:38:30,396 I see her with another man. 794 00:38:30,396 --> 00:38:31,522 - That little twerp. 795 00:38:31,522 --> 00:38:32,356 (hitting) 796 00:38:32,356 --> 00:38:33,733 - You should not call people names, Stanley. 797 00:38:33,733 --> 00:38:35,151 - Yeah, right, sorry. 798 00:38:35,151 --> 00:38:37,612 - She thinks she loves him, but she really 799 00:38:37,612 --> 00:38:39,363 loves you, Stanley. 800 00:38:39,363 --> 00:38:40,198 - Really? 801 00:38:40,198 --> 00:38:41,032 - Yes. 802 00:38:41,032 --> 00:38:43,451 But she is under his spell. 803 00:38:43,451 --> 00:38:44,285 - Spell? 804 00:38:44,285 --> 00:38:47,789 - Spell, Stanley, for this is no ordinary man. 805 00:38:47,789 --> 00:38:49,624 He is a vampire. 806 00:38:49,624 --> 00:38:50,458 - A vampire? 807 00:38:50,458 --> 00:38:51,292 (hitting) 808 00:38:51,292 --> 00:38:52,293 - A vampire, Stanley. 809 00:38:52,293 --> 00:38:54,337 Yours is no ordinary destiny. 810 00:38:54,337 --> 00:38:55,254 - I knew it. 811 00:38:55,254 --> 00:38:56,714 - Don't interrupt. 812 00:38:56,714 --> 00:38:59,467 It is your destiny to save Mona. 813 00:38:59,467 --> 00:39:02,136 - Yes, but, how can I do it? 814 00:39:02,136 --> 00:39:04,347 - Stanley, your business is death, 815 00:39:04,347 --> 00:39:07,391 your life is death, your destiny is death. 816 00:39:07,391 --> 00:39:09,727 You must kill her, Stanley. 817 00:39:09,727 --> 00:39:10,728 - Yes? 818 00:39:10,728 --> 00:39:11,771 - Yes. 819 00:39:11,771 --> 00:39:14,106 And then she will be all yours. 820 00:39:14,106 --> 00:39:16,150 - I could mount and stuff her. 821 00:39:16,150 --> 00:39:18,903 - She will be your sleeping princess. 822 00:39:18,903 --> 00:39:19,737 - Yes. 823 00:39:19,737 --> 00:39:21,489 Yes, I see it. 824 00:39:21,489 --> 00:39:23,574 I could freeze her, cryogenically. 825 00:39:23,574 --> 00:39:24,408 - Oh. 826 00:39:24,408 --> 00:39:25,743 I suppose it would work. 827 00:39:25,743 --> 00:39:27,411 - She'll be mine. 828 00:39:27,411 --> 00:39:29,413 All mine forever. 829 00:39:29,413 --> 00:39:30,790 When do I do it? 830 00:39:30,790 --> 00:39:33,084 - It must be down on Halloween. 831 00:39:33,084 --> 00:39:33,918 - [Stanley] Right. 832 00:39:33,918 --> 00:39:35,461 - But there is one catch, though. 833 00:39:35,461 --> 00:39:37,380 You must dress as a pirate. 834 00:39:37,380 --> 00:39:38,214 - A pirate? 835 00:39:38,214 --> 00:39:39,423 - A pirate. 836 00:39:39,423 --> 00:39:41,133 With a rhinestone peg leg. 837 00:39:41,133 --> 00:39:42,718 - A rhinestone peg leg? 838 00:39:42,718 --> 00:39:43,928 (hitting) 839 00:39:43,928 --> 00:39:45,596 A rhinestone peg leg. 840 00:39:45,596 --> 00:39:48,933 - And you must dispatch her with a ham bone. 841 00:39:48,933 --> 00:39:50,268 - Ambone? 842 00:39:50,268 --> 00:39:52,645 Okay, okay, okay, a ham bone. 843 00:39:54,272 --> 00:39:58,568 (upbeat hip hop music) (cheering) 844 00:39:58,568 --> 00:40:01,529 - Yo, yo, yo, yo, Hans, what's up, what's up? 845 00:40:01,529 --> 00:40:02,947 Oh not much, you know, I've just been hangin' 846 00:40:02,947 --> 00:40:04,657 with Yolanda and Dee. 847 00:40:05,700 --> 00:40:06,492 Kick it! 848 00:40:07,660 --> 00:40:08,494 (upbeat hip hop music) 849 00:40:08,494 --> 00:40:09,954 ♪ Whoa, what was that ♪ 850 00:40:09,954 --> 00:40:11,747 ♪ Yo that's some kick ♪ 851 00:40:11,747 --> 00:40:13,708 ♪ Thank you ♪ 852 00:40:13,708 --> 00:40:16,544 ♪ Geez what a weird guy ♪ 853 00:40:16,544 --> 00:40:19,046 ♪ There was this girl named Mina she wanted my wiener ♪ 854 00:40:19,046 --> 00:40:21,924 ♪ She was singing back before Ike and Tina ♪ 855 00:40:21,924 --> 00:40:24,218 ♪ I liked her bangs she liked my fangs ♪ 856 00:40:24,218 --> 00:40:27,054 ♪ So we decided to do the crazy Rockula thing ♪ 857 00:40:27,054 --> 00:40:29,473 ♪ Now her father didn't like it so he called me a pig ♪ 858 00:40:29,473 --> 00:40:32,143 ♪ I said Dr. Van Helsing here's something you'll dig ♪ 859 00:40:32,143 --> 00:40:35,146 ♪ We can sing kumbaya around the campfire ♪ 860 00:40:35,146 --> 00:40:36,188 ♪ Are you the DJ ♪ 861 00:40:36,188 --> 00:40:38,149 ♪ Nope, I'm the vampire ♪ 862 00:40:38,149 --> 00:40:42,153 ♪ Heh heh heh heh he's Rapula ♪ 863 00:40:42,153 --> 00:40:43,779 ♪ I said I'm the vampire ♪ 864 00:40:43,779 --> 00:40:47,575 ♪ Heh heh heh heh he's Rapula ♪ 865 00:40:47,575 --> 00:40:49,160 ♪ Kumbaya ♪ 866 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:53,205 ♪ Heh heh heh heh he's Rapula ♪ 867 00:40:53,205 --> 00:40:54,498 ♪ Vampire home boy ♪ 868 00:40:54,498 --> 00:40:57,335 ♪ Heh heh heh heh he's Rapula ♪ 869 00:40:57,335 --> 00:40:58,586 ♪ Now ♪ 870 00:40:58,586 --> 00:40:59,754 ♪ They're saying that a Michael rode ♪ 871 00:40:59,754 --> 00:41:01,339 ♪ The boat ashore too with some aid ♪ 872 00:41:01,339 --> 00:41:03,716 ♪ From the funky fresh Rapula crew ♪ 873 00:41:03,716 --> 00:41:04,717 ♪ Get to the facts ♪ 874 00:41:04,717 --> 00:41:06,052 ♪ I don't mean to be lax ♪ 875 00:41:06,052 --> 00:41:08,930 ♪ But I'd like to hear some of the premarital sax ♪ 876 00:41:08,930 --> 00:41:11,265 ♪ Get away from that chick you bloodthristy monster ♪ 877 00:41:11,265 --> 00:41:13,976 ♪ Oh Dr. Van Helsing I'm a p-p-p punster ♪ 878 00:41:13,976 --> 00:41:16,938 ♪ I'm not Frankenstein or the wolfman either ♪ 879 00:41:16,938 --> 00:41:18,105 ♪ Are you the DJ ♪ 880 00:41:18,105 --> 00:41:19,982 ♪ I'm the vampire ♪ 881 00:41:19,982 --> 00:41:24,111 ♪ Heh heh heh heh heh he's Rapula ♪ 882 00:41:24,111 --> 00:41:26,614 ♪ I said I'm the vampire ♪ 883 00:41:26,614 --> 00:41:27,740 ♪ He's Rapula ♪ 884 00:41:27,740 --> 00:41:28,574 ♪ You're a vampire ♪ 885 00:41:28,574 --> 00:41:31,619 ♪ You mean like with teeth and everything ♪ 886 00:41:31,619 --> 00:41:33,079 ♪ He's Rapula ♪ 887 00:41:33,079 --> 00:41:35,665 ♪ Yo, yo, check this out, check this out, check this out ♪ 888 00:41:35,665 --> 00:41:38,960 ♪ Oh yeah I'm checking it out ♪ 889 00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,211 ♪ I'm waiting ♪ 890 00:41:40,211 --> 00:41:42,546 ♪ Hunky dory now the story comes to a close ♪ 891 00:41:42,546 --> 00:41:43,798 ♪ It ain't scary but it's smelly ♪ 892 00:41:43,798 --> 00:41:45,466 ♪ Like the jam in your toes ♪ 893 00:41:45,466 --> 00:41:48,010 ♪ Gina, I mean Mina, moved into my crib ♪ 894 00:41:48,010 --> 00:41:50,596 ♪ Gee, Mr. Rapula, you're awfully glib ♪ 895 00:41:50,596 --> 00:41:53,099 ♪ She made me a dish called Huevos de Rapula ♪ 896 00:41:53,099 --> 00:41:55,726 ♪ Made with garlic and eggs and a gold plated spatula ♪ 897 00:41:55,726 --> 00:41:58,521 ♪ You can read the commentary by William Sapphire ♪ 898 00:41:58,521 --> 00:42:01,732 ♪ He's the DJ, I'm the vampire ♪ 899 00:42:01,732 --> 00:42:03,150 ♪ He's Rapula ♪ 900 00:42:03,150 --> 00:42:05,069 ♪ I'm the vampire ♪ 901 00:42:05,069 --> 00:42:06,404 ♪ Vampire ♪ 902 00:42:06,404 --> 00:42:08,280 ♪ You're the vampire ♪ 903 00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:09,657 ♪ You're a vampire ♪ 904 00:42:09,657 --> 00:42:11,492 ♪ Oh what you're a vampire ♪ 905 00:42:11,492 --> 00:42:13,661 ♪ Are you dissin' me ♪ 906 00:42:13,661 --> 00:42:15,705 ♪ Forget I'm the vampire ♪ 907 00:42:15,705 --> 00:42:17,581 ♪ Just forget it ♪ 908 00:42:17,581 --> 00:42:22,336 ♪ So if you're not Rapula man, who's the DJ ♪ 909 00:42:22,336 --> 00:42:26,465 (applause) (cheering) 910 00:42:32,638 --> 00:42:35,933 (people chattering) (rock music) 911 00:42:35,933 --> 00:42:37,309 - You were great. 912 00:42:38,269 --> 00:42:39,520 - Ralphie? 913 00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,230 Oh, there's my boy. 914 00:42:41,230 --> 00:42:42,314 - Mom, what are you doing here? 915 00:42:42,314 --> 00:42:44,483 - Oh, Ralph, I am so proud of you. 916 00:42:44,483 --> 00:42:46,277 Your little band was fantastic. 917 00:42:46,277 --> 00:42:47,361 - Mom. 918 00:42:47,361 --> 00:42:48,696 - And you must be Mona. 919 00:42:48,696 --> 00:42:49,530 Oh. 920 00:42:49,530 --> 00:42:51,449 Look how pretty you are this time. 921 00:42:51,449 --> 00:42:52,408 - Yes, yes, she is. 922 00:42:52,408 --> 00:42:53,784 Uh, Mona, this is my mother. 923 00:42:53,784 --> 00:42:54,618 - Hi. 924 00:42:54,618 --> 00:42:55,911 It is so nice to meet you. 925 00:42:55,911 --> 00:42:56,871 - Meet me? 926 00:42:56,871 --> 00:42:58,831 No, no, dear, the pleasure's all mine. 927 00:42:58,831 --> 00:43:00,207 Oh, just me look at you. 928 00:43:00,207 --> 00:43:02,752 Oh, it's so nice to see the two of you together again. 929 00:43:02,752 --> 00:43:03,669 - Excuse me? 930 00:43:03,669 --> 00:43:04,795 - Uh yeah, well we have to be going. 931 00:43:04,795 --> 00:43:05,629 - Oh well I won't keep you, 932 00:43:05,629 --> 00:43:07,173 but we must have Mona over for dinner. 933 00:43:07,173 --> 00:43:08,007 - Mom. 934 00:43:08,007 --> 00:43:09,008 - I would love to. 935 00:43:09,008 --> 00:43:09,842 - Mona. 936 00:43:09,842 --> 00:43:10,676 - Thursday night? 937 00:43:10,676 --> 00:43:12,845 - Can't Thursday night, Mona's video is premiering. 938 00:43:12,845 --> 00:43:14,472 - Well we could go after. 939 00:43:14,472 --> 00:43:15,306 - After? 940 00:43:15,306 --> 00:43:16,390 - Thursday night it is then. 941 00:43:16,390 --> 00:43:17,475 - I can't believe this. 942 00:43:17,475 --> 00:43:18,309 - Well I have to run now. 943 00:43:18,309 --> 00:43:20,269 I have a meeting with my ladies' social. 944 00:43:20,269 --> 00:43:21,896 It's pistol range night and I'm really getting 945 00:43:21,896 --> 00:43:23,647 much better at this. 946 00:43:23,647 --> 00:43:26,317 Practice, practice, practice. 947 00:43:26,317 --> 00:43:28,652 (screaming) 948 00:43:28,652 --> 00:43:31,697 - Doesn't anybody go bowling anymore? 949 00:43:42,958 --> 00:43:47,088 (soft romantic Spanish music playing) 950 00:44:05,231 --> 00:44:06,023 Oh! 951 00:44:07,108 --> 00:44:09,318 It's raining cats and dogs! 952 00:44:10,194 --> 00:44:14,323 I just stepped in a poodle! (laughing) 953 00:44:18,494 --> 00:44:22,623 (soft romantic Spanish music playing) 954 00:44:28,712 --> 00:44:31,257 (rain falling) 955 00:44:32,758 --> 00:44:35,803 - I feel like I've known you forever. 956 00:44:37,304 --> 00:44:41,433 (rain falling) (thunder breaking) 957 00:44:59,577 --> 00:45:01,954 I think the rain is stopping. 958 00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:06,083 (rain falling) 959 00:45:06,083 --> 00:45:08,961 (synth rock music) 960 00:45:16,635 --> 00:45:19,555 ♪ In the dark, in deepest shadows ♪ 961 00:45:19,555 --> 00:45:22,558 ♪ Well hid from the light of day ♪ 962 00:45:22,558 --> 00:45:25,311 ♪ I wait for the perfect moment ♪ 963 00:45:25,311 --> 00:45:28,689 ♪ Show me the way ♪ 964 00:45:28,689 --> 00:45:32,109 ♪ Like the flame of a candle burning ♪ 965 00:45:32,109 --> 00:45:35,070 ♪ Like a deer when it hits the floor ♪ 966 00:45:35,070 --> 00:45:37,573 ♪ Like the passion locked inside me ♪ 967 00:45:37,573 --> 00:45:40,117 ♪ Open the door ♪ 968 00:45:40,117 --> 00:45:43,704 ♪ I said open the door ♪ 969 00:45:43,704 --> 00:45:48,667 ♪ It was always this way from the start ♪ 970 00:45:49,501 --> 00:45:54,089 ♪ Now I'm asking to surrender your heart ♪ 971 00:45:54,089 --> 00:45:56,508 (yelling) 972 00:45:56,508 --> 00:45:59,595 ♪ You made me wait forever ♪ 973 00:45:59,595 --> 00:46:02,598 ♪ My hope had almost died ♪ 974 00:46:02,598 --> 00:46:05,643 ♪ You stopped the world from turning ♪ 975 00:46:05,643 --> 00:46:08,771 ♪ When you were by my side ♪ 976 00:46:08,771 --> 00:46:11,732 ♪ With the wars I've waged behind me ♪ 977 00:46:11,732 --> 00:46:14,985 ♪ With your lovin' to remind ♪ 978 00:46:14,985 --> 00:46:17,571 ♪ When hearts on fire collide ♪ 979 00:46:17,571 --> 00:46:21,200 ♪ I can't lose with you by my side ♪ 980 00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:25,204 (yelling) ♪ You by my side ♪ 981 00:46:25,204 --> 00:46:30,125 ♪ You by my side ♪ 982 00:46:30,334 --> 00:46:33,420 ♪ In the night you're the star that guides me ♪ 983 00:46:33,420 --> 00:46:36,423 ♪ And it seems like a thousand years ♪ 984 00:46:36,423 --> 00:46:39,176 ♪ Since I first felt these emotions ♪ 985 00:46:39,176 --> 00:46:42,763 ♪ First felt these tears ♪ 986 00:46:42,763 --> 00:46:45,724 ♪ If you call I'll be the answer ♪ 987 00:46:45,724 --> 00:46:48,769 ♪ If you need, I'll be desire ♪ 988 00:46:48,769 --> 00:46:51,480 ♪ If you're cold I'll be there to warm you ♪ 989 00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:54,692 ♪ I'll be your heat ♪ 990 00:46:54,692 --> 00:46:57,987 ♪ I'll be the fire ♪ 991 00:46:57,987 --> 00:47:02,950 ♪ It's always this way from the start ♪ 992 00:47:03,492 --> 00:47:08,455 ♪ Now I'm asking you to surrender your heart ♪ 993 00:47:10,416 --> 00:47:13,627 ♪ You made me wait forever ♪ 994 00:47:13,627 --> 00:47:16,505 ♪ My hope had almost died ♪ 995 00:47:16,505 --> 00:47:19,675 ♪ You stopped the world turning ♪ 996 00:47:19,675 --> 00:47:22,761 ♪ When you were by side ♪ 997 00:47:22,761 --> 00:47:25,764 ♪ With the wars I've waged behind me ♪ 998 00:47:25,764 --> 00:47:28,934 ♪ With your lovin' to remind me ♪ 999 00:47:28,934 --> 00:47:31,770 ♪ When hearts on fire collide ♪ 1000 00:47:31,770 --> 00:47:36,233 ♪ I can't lose with you by my side ♪ 1001 00:47:36,233 --> 00:47:39,194 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1002 00:47:39,194 --> 00:47:44,158 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1003 00:47:45,701 --> 00:47:50,664 ♪ Lost a love that will last forever ♪ 1004 00:47:51,457 --> 00:47:54,793 ♪ From the ends of the Earth ♪ 1005 00:47:54,793 --> 00:47:58,088 ♪ And right into heaven ♪ 1006 00:47:59,340 --> 00:48:01,717 (rock music) 1007 00:48:15,105 --> 00:48:18,442 ♪ And if that's a dream then don't wake me ♪ 1008 00:48:18,442 --> 00:48:23,405 ♪ If it's love then take me ♪ 1009 00:48:27,910 --> 00:48:30,162 ♪ Nothing can stop us now ♪ 1010 00:48:30,162 --> 00:48:33,665 ♪ Destiny found you somehow ♪ 1011 00:48:33,665 --> 00:48:36,293 ♪ When hearts on fire collide ♪ 1012 00:48:36,293 --> 00:48:40,881 ♪ I can't lose with you by my side ♪ 1013 00:48:40,881 --> 00:48:43,926 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1014 00:48:43,926 --> 00:48:45,969 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1015 00:48:45,969 --> 00:48:48,639 ♪ When hearts on fire collide ♪ 1016 00:48:48,639 --> 00:48:53,352 ♪ I can't lose with you by my side ♪ 1017 00:48:53,352 --> 00:48:56,313 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1018 00:48:56,313 --> 00:48:59,316 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1019 00:48:59,316 --> 00:49:02,486 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1020 00:49:02,486 --> 00:49:05,489 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1021 00:49:05,489 --> 00:49:08,534 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1022 00:49:08,534 --> 00:49:11,703 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1023 00:49:11,703 --> 00:49:12,996 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1024 00:49:12,996 --> 00:49:14,456 Wow. 1025 00:49:14,456 --> 00:49:15,582 What was that? 1026 00:49:17,042 --> 00:49:21,171 (rain falling) (rock music) 1027 00:49:24,716 --> 00:49:28,679 - I don't know, but it was definitely beautiful. 1028 00:49:30,180 --> 00:49:33,183 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1029 00:49:33,183 --> 00:49:36,353 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1030 00:49:36,353 --> 00:49:39,481 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1031 00:49:39,481 --> 00:49:42,526 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1032 00:49:42,526 --> 00:49:45,696 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1033 00:49:45,696 --> 00:49:48,615 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1034 00:49:48,615 --> 00:49:51,326 ♪ You by my side ♪ 1035 00:49:56,498 --> 00:49:59,209 (rock music) 1036 00:49:59,209 --> 00:50:00,377 (clapping) 1037 00:50:00,377 --> 00:50:01,587 - [TV Announcer] That was Mona and the premiere 1038 00:50:01,587 --> 00:50:04,590 of By My Side here on Slack TV. 1039 00:50:04,590 --> 00:50:05,883 Coming up... - You were wonderful. 1040 00:50:05,883 --> 00:50:06,842 - Thank you honey. 1041 00:50:06,842 --> 00:50:08,051 - Both of you. 1042 00:50:08,051 --> 00:50:09,678 - Well the kids were Mona's idea. 1043 00:50:09,678 --> 00:50:12,014 - Don't be so modest, Ralph. 1044 00:50:12,014 --> 00:50:14,516 - Listen, Mona, about dinner with my mother tonight. 1045 00:50:14,516 --> 00:50:15,976 I don't think it's a very good idea. 1046 00:50:15,976 --> 00:50:16,810 - Why not? 1047 00:50:16,810 --> 00:50:17,644 - In fact, I think it's time I start my own record label, 1048 00:50:17,644 --> 00:50:20,564 you know, Morgue Music or maybe Death Records. 1049 00:50:20,564 --> 00:50:24,610 Or just RIP, it's sort of catchy, don't you think? 1050 00:50:24,610 --> 00:50:26,403 Mona, just terrific. 1051 00:50:26,403 --> 00:50:28,530 Congratulations, the both of you. 1052 00:50:28,530 --> 00:50:29,364 - Thank you. 1053 00:50:29,364 --> 00:50:32,784 Um, Stanley, why are you wearing garlic around your neck? 1054 00:50:32,784 --> 00:50:33,619 - Oh. 1055 00:50:33,619 --> 00:50:37,206 This is in honor of Ralph here, I should I say Rockula? 1056 00:50:37,206 --> 00:50:39,958 It's pretty pungent, wouldn't you say, Ralphie? 1057 00:50:39,958 --> 00:50:41,793 - Smells great, I love garlic. 1058 00:50:41,793 --> 00:50:44,338 - Yes, you might say I have a stake in what 1059 00:50:44,338 --> 00:50:45,172 happens to you. 1060 00:50:45,172 --> 00:50:46,965 I mean, I think Rockula's gonna take off 1061 00:50:46,965 --> 00:50:48,717 like a bat out of hell. 1062 00:50:48,717 --> 00:50:50,469 The world is full of bloodsuckers 1063 00:50:50,469 --> 00:50:53,263 and I would hate for anything to happen to you. 1064 00:50:53,263 --> 00:50:57,017 Have you ever seen one of these before? 1065 00:50:57,017 --> 00:50:57,809 - Yes. 1066 00:51:01,146 --> 00:51:03,148 18th Century, right? 1067 00:51:03,148 --> 00:51:04,525 - 19th, actually. 1068 00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:07,402 - Excuse me, I'm gonna use your bathroom. 1069 00:51:07,402 --> 00:51:08,362 - Okay sure. 1070 00:51:10,656 --> 00:51:15,577 - There's things about this guy that you don't understand. 1071 00:51:15,577 --> 00:51:19,790 - Stanley, I think that you are under a lot of stress. 1072 00:51:19,790 --> 00:51:21,708 - He knows, the jig's up. 1073 00:51:21,708 --> 00:51:22,543 - Who knows? 1074 00:51:22,543 --> 00:51:23,377 What jig? 1075 00:51:23,377 --> 00:51:25,295 - [Ralph] Stanley, somehow he knows that I'm a... 1076 00:51:25,295 --> 00:51:26,463 - You're a vampire? 1077 00:51:26,463 --> 00:51:27,297 - Yes. 1078 00:51:27,297 --> 00:51:28,131 - So why don't you get rid of him 1079 00:51:28,131 --> 00:51:29,299 in the time honored tradition? 1080 00:51:29,299 --> 00:51:30,175 - What the hell is that? 1081 00:51:30,175 --> 00:51:31,134 - Bite him, man. 1082 00:51:31,134 --> 00:51:33,971 Bite him, and watch him die a slow, agonizing death. 1083 00:51:33,971 --> 00:51:35,639 Come on, it's the way vampires always get rid 1084 00:51:35,639 --> 00:51:37,849 of those Van Helsing types. 1085 00:51:37,849 --> 00:51:38,684 - That's in the movies. 1086 00:51:38,684 --> 00:51:40,727 Besides, you remember vampires always lose. 1087 00:51:40,727 --> 00:51:42,813 - Yeah, but they always look so cool stalking the halls. 1088 00:51:42,813 --> 00:51:44,189 I just love that. 1089 00:51:45,816 --> 00:51:48,068 - If Stanley knows, what's stopping him from telling Mona? 1090 00:51:48,068 --> 00:51:50,070 - So he tells her, you tell her, what's the difference? 1091 00:51:50,070 --> 00:51:50,904 What's the matter? 1092 00:51:50,904 --> 00:51:51,738 Ashamed of who you are? 1093 00:51:51,738 --> 00:51:52,573 - Yes. 1094 00:51:52,573 --> 00:51:54,992 No, no, I mean, I don't know, it's not that easy. 1095 00:51:54,992 --> 00:51:56,285 - [Mona] Ralph? 1096 00:51:56,285 --> 00:51:58,036 - Pressure's on, pressure's on, what you gonna do? 1097 00:51:58,036 --> 00:51:59,413 Don't choke, don't choke, don't choke. 1098 00:51:59,413 --> 00:52:01,290 - Shut up and let me think. 1099 00:52:01,290 --> 00:52:02,499 - [Mona] Ralph? 1100 00:52:03,792 --> 00:52:04,960 - I'm gonna tell her. 1101 00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:06,753 - Everything? Even the you-know-what? 1102 00:52:06,753 --> 00:52:07,963 - Everything. 1103 00:52:07,963 --> 00:52:09,923 - Bad idea, man, bad idea. 1104 00:52:09,923 --> 00:52:10,716 - Shh. 1105 00:52:13,802 --> 00:52:15,637 - Uh, Ralph. 1106 00:52:15,637 --> 00:52:17,014 Who are you talking to? 1107 00:52:17,014 --> 00:52:18,765 - Uh no one, myself. 1108 00:52:18,765 --> 00:52:20,601 Well, sort of, I'll explain later. 1109 00:52:20,601 --> 00:52:23,562 Mona, we're having dinner at my mother's. 1110 00:52:23,562 --> 00:52:25,606 - That's what I like about you Ralph. 1111 00:52:25,606 --> 00:52:29,484 You're so decisive. (laughing) 1112 00:52:31,403 --> 00:52:32,362 - Attention. 1113 00:52:33,530 --> 00:52:36,908 Could I have your attention please? 1114 00:52:36,908 --> 00:52:37,701 Oy! 1115 00:52:38,910 --> 00:52:41,788 I have a little premiere of my own. 1116 00:52:46,501 --> 00:52:49,087 Mmm, that mantra felt good. 1117 00:52:49,087 --> 00:52:53,091 Hi, I'm Stanley, your guide into the other world. 1118 00:52:54,009 --> 00:52:57,471 Here at Stanley's Deathpark, we believe in a holistic, 1119 00:52:57,471 --> 00:53:00,599 stress-free approach to the passing on process. 1120 00:53:00,599 --> 00:53:05,354 Just take a look at our new line in designer headstones. 1121 00:53:05,354 --> 00:53:08,398 Secretary forget to remind you to bring flowers? 1122 00:53:08,398 --> 00:53:12,110 The XK2000 is perfect for those with a busy lifestyle. 1123 00:53:12,110 --> 00:53:16,198 Just 50 cents brings an all natural, floral surprise. 1124 00:53:20,952 --> 00:53:23,538 Mmm, just smell those chlamydias. 1125 00:53:23,538 --> 00:53:26,416 And we'll quite happily donate 10 cents of the proceeds 1126 00:53:26,416 --> 00:53:28,877 to the charity of your choice. 1127 00:53:30,337 --> 00:53:32,547 Miss that nagging loved one? 1128 00:53:32,547 --> 00:53:34,716 No longer with the Recorder 6000, 1129 00:53:34,716 --> 00:53:38,095 you just close your eyes and listen. 1130 00:53:38,095 --> 00:53:40,180 - [Woman] Harold, have you been drinking again? 1131 00:53:40,180 --> 00:53:42,599 Was it you who left the toilet seat up? 1132 00:53:42,599 --> 00:53:44,351 My mother was right. 1133 00:53:44,351 --> 00:53:47,562 - Better than a wool hair coat and a crown of thorns. 1134 00:53:47,562 --> 00:53:48,772 Realistic? 1135 00:53:48,772 --> 00:53:50,899 Don't take my word for it. 1136 00:53:52,359 --> 00:53:55,779 - It's been three years since my lovely Clorice left me. 1137 00:53:55,779 --> 00:53:58,949 But with Recorder 6000, I have yet to miss 1138 00:53:58,949 --> 00:54:00,826 her deprecating banter. 1139 00:54:02,869 --> 00:54:04,579 - Thank you Elmo, that was lovely. 1140 00:54:04,579 --> 00:54:06,707 Now, here's something new. 1141 00:54:08,959 --> 00:54:12,170 Relatives disapprove of your lifestyle? 1142 00:54:12,170 --> 00:54:15,507 Invest in the Rotary 600, the device that keeps those loved 1143 00:54:15,507 --> 00:54:18,176 ones turning over in their grave. 1144 00:54:19,386 --> 00:54:21,596 (thumping) 1145 00:54:24,433 --> 00:54:25,976 Isn't that amazing? 1146 00:54:27,519 --> 00:54:30,272 And over here we have the very latest in 1147 00:54:30,272 --> 00:54:32,232 cryogenic technology. 1148 00:54:32,232 --> 00:54:35,485 It may well be the answer to everlasting life, 1149 00:54:35,485 --> 00:54:38,155 and, while you're waiting to be reborn, 1150 00:54:38,155 --> 00:54:40,115 why not listen to your choice of subliminal 1151 00:54:40,115 --> 00:54:41,616 self help tapes. 1152 00:54:41,616 --> 00:54:43,034 We have an incredible selection. 1153 00:54:43,034 --> 00:54:46,413 Everything from meditation to the fundamentals of golf. 1154 00:54:46,413 --> 00:54:48,415 Learn a foreign language while you're waiting 1155 00:54:48,415 --> 00:54:50,917 to be awoken from your everlasting sleep. 1156 00:54:50,917 --> 00:54:52,252 Did you die a smoker? 1157 00:54:52,252 --> 00:54:54,379 Quit while you're dead. 1158 00:54:54,379 --> 00:54:56,798 Improve your karma, knock off several lifetimes 1159 00:54:56,798 --> 00:54:58,925 and awake a better person. 1160 00:55:00,218 --> 00:55:00,969 - Get out. 1161 00:55:01,178 --> 00:55:02,929 - That was the best bit. 1162 00:55:02,929 --> 00:55:06,516 - Stanley, I have been working my entire life for tonight, 1163 00:55:06,516 --> 00:55:08,018 and you come and make a joke out of it? 1164 00:55:08,018 --> 00:55:08,810 - Mona. 1165 00:55:12,189 --> 00:55:13,190 You. 1166 00:55:13,190 --> 00:55:15,484 You did it to me, you fiend. 1167 00:55:30,248 --> 00:55:31,374 - You alright? 1168 00:55:31,374 --> 00:55:32,959 - Yes I'm fine, really. 1169 00:55:32,959 --> 00:55:35,170 - Stanley is in love with you. 1170 00:55:35,170 --> 00:55:36,671 - I know. 1171 00:55:36,671 --> 00:55:39,299 (slow music) 1172 00:55:39,299 --> 00:55:41,176 It wasn't just Stanley. 1173 00:55:42,093 --> 00:55:46,431 Ralph, I was watching the video and suddenly I thought, 1174 00:55:46,431 --> 00:55:50,852 "Is this what I have been working for my entire life? 1175 00:55:50,852 --> 00:55:53,355 "Three minutes, that's it? 1176 00:55:53,355 --> 00:55:55,065 "Just three minutes?" 1177 00:55:56,274 --> 00:55:58,735 It just seemed so unimportant. 1178 00:56:01,154 --> 00:56:02,155 So temporary. 1179 00:56:03,365 --> 00:56:04,157 Ralph. 1180 00:56:05,325 --> 00:56:06,159 You-- 1181 00:56:06,159 --> 00:56:08,370 - Before you say what I think you're gonna say, 1182 00:56:08,370 --> 00:56:10,622 there's something you've gotta know. 1183 00:56:10,622 --> 00:56:11,498 - Hi kids. 1184 00:56:11,498 --> 00:56:12,707 - Mom, we were talking. 1185 00:56:12,707 --> 00:56:13,625 - The legacy? 1186 00:56:13,625 --> 00:56:14,751 - Mom. 1187 00:56:14,751 --> 00:56:16,503 - The legacy? 1188 00:56:16,503 --> 00:56:19,297 (strange music) 1189 00:56:19,297 --> 00:56:23,343 - It's nothing, it's, nevermind, it's not important. 1190 00:56:23,343 --> 00:56:25,554 What's for dinner? 1191 00:56:25,554 --> 00:56:26,638 - [Phoebe] Hello dear. 1192 00:56:26,638 --> 00:56:28,932 - [Mona] Mrs. Levee, this is a beautiful home you have. 1193 00:56:28,932 --> 00:56:31,977 - Oh thank you dear, but please call me Phoebe. 1194 00:56:31,977 --> 00:56:33,687 Of course, this is nothing like the 1195 00:56:33,687 --> 00:56:35,438 palatial chateau that we had when we were 1196 00:56:35,438 --> 00:56:37,357 in the south of France, is it Ralph? 1197 00:56:37,357 --> 00:56:38,775 - I didn't know you lived in France? 1198 00:56:38,775 --> 00:56:39,609 - You didn't? 1199 00:56:39,609 --> 00:56:40,443 Of course you did. 1200 00:56:40,443 --> 00:56:41,278 When was that Ralphie? 1201 00:56:41,278 --> 00:56:43,029 The 16th or the 17th century? 1202 00:56:43,029 --> 00:56:44,197 I don't remember. 1203 00:56:44,197 --> 00:56:47,117 Oh, my pet Napoleon, mm, could he throw a party. 1204 00:56:47,117 --> 00:56:48,618 I was his favorite, you know. 1205 00:56:48,618 --> 00:56:49,452 - Mom. 1206 00:56:49,452 --> 00:56:52,581 - And Mona, your father, the king, was he, 1207 00:56:52,581 --> 00:56:55,333 the most handsome man and you were the cutest little thing. 1208 00:56:55,333 --> 00:56:56,167 - Mom! 1209 00:56:56,167 --> 00:56:57,002 What's for dinner? 1210 00:56:57,002 --> 00:56:58,086 - Meat and potatoes. 1211 00:56:58,086 --> 00:56:59,254 Who's askin'? 1212 00:56:59,254 --> 00:57:00,547 - Oh, Boom Boom. 1213 00:57:01,506 --> 00:57:02,299 Boom, oh! 1214 00:57:05,176 --> 00:57:06,553 Ooo, my son. 1215 00:57:06,553 --> 00:57:10,640 Ralphie, this is my son Ralphie and his fiancee Mona. 1216 00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:11,975 Oh. 1217 00:57:11,975 --> 00:57:13,268 - His fiancee? 1218 00:57:13,268 --> 00:57:15,353 - The Boom Boom Williams? 1219 00:57:15,353 --> 00:57:16,980 The Terror of Tennessee? 1220 00:57:16,980 --> 00:57:18,857 - You got it, little fella. 1221 00:57:18,857 --> 00:57:20,275 And if you eat all your vegetables, you'll grow up 1222 00:57:20,275 --> 00:57:23,069 to be big and strong just like me. 1223 00:57:24,946 --> 00:57:27,282 - I think we're a little late for that. 1224 00:57:27,282 --> 00:57:29,117 I don't know, about 300 years too late. 1225 00:57:29,117 --> 00:57:30,201 - What did you say? - Nothing. 1226 00:57:30,201 --> 00:57:31,745 - Dinner is served. 1227 00:57:34,122 --> 00:57:36,666 And as for the father of our country, 1228 00:57:36,666 --> 00:57:39,002 well let me tell you, he may have been hell 1229 00:57:39,002 --> 00:57:41,671 on the battlefield, but in bed he was as wooden 1230 00:57:41,671 --> 00:57:44,883 as his teeth. (laughing) 1231 00:57:44,883 --> 00:57:47,552 Those were tough and lonely times for a woman. 1232 00:57:47,552 --> 00:57:49,596 Every day I get down on my hands and knees 1233 00:57:49,596 --> 00:57:53,058 and I thank my lucky stars that I had my boy. 1234 00:57:53,058 --> 00:57:53,934 My Ralphie. 1235 00:57:54,851 --> 00:57:56,102 Ralphie. 1236 00:57:56,102 --> 00:57:58,104 - Baby, where would you like your coffee served? 1237 00:57:58,104 --> 00:58:00,690 In here, or in the living room? 1238 00:58:00,690 --> 00:58:02,484 - In the living room, don't you think? 1239 00:58:02,484 --> 00:58:05,278 - Oh, whatever you say love cakes. 1240 00:58:06,863 --> 00:58:09,574 (fire crackling) 1241 00:58:17,874 --> 00:58:21,419 Introducing the fabulous, the incomparable, 1242 00:58:22,629 --> 00:58:24,339 and the sexy, 1243 00:58:24,339 --> 00:58:25,715 Miss 1244 00:58:25,715 --> 00:58:26,508 Phoebe. 1245 00:58:27,801 --> 00:58:30,679 (slow synth music) 1246 00:58:46,945 --> 00:58:50,323 (upbeat pop synth music) 1247 00:58:54,411 --> 00:58:56,538 (hissing) 1248 00:59:02,752 --> 00:59:07,132 ♪ Well you can say that the night ♪ 1249 00:59:07,132 --> 00:59:11,636 ♪ Belongs to no one ♪ 1250 00:59:11,636 --> 00:59:14,055 ♪ And you can pray ♪ 1251 00:59:14,055 --> 00:59:19,019 ♪ That the night will soon be over ♪ 1252 00:59:21,896 --> 00:59:26,317 ♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop bop bop ♪ 1253 00:59:26,317 --> 00:59:31,239 ♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop bop bop ♪ 1254 00:59:31,239 --> 00:59:35,618 ♪ As the shadows fall ♪ 1255 00:59:35,618 --> 00:59:39,289 ♪ And the daylight slips away ♪ 1256 00:59:39,289 --> 00:59:40,957 ♪ To the night ♪ 1257 00:59:40,957 --> 00:59:43,084 ♪ Like it lasts forever ♪ 1258 00:59:43,084 --> 00:59:45,336 ♪ A night that is your friend ♪ 1259 00:59:45,336 --> 00:59:47,964 ♪ A friend of pain and pleasure ♪ 1260 00:59:47,964 --> 00:59:49,799 ♪ And in the night ♪ 1261 00:59:49,799 --> 00:59:52,093 ♪ The night, you hear it calling ♪ 1262 00:59:52,093 --> 00:59:54,387 ♪ Calling out your name ♪ 1263 00:59:54,387 --> 00:59:59,350 ♪ That you will never ever be the same ♪ 1264 01:00:00,351 --> 01:00:03,980 ♪ The night, the night will last forever ♪ 1265 01:00:03,980 --> 01:00:06,149 ♪ The night, hey hey ♪ 1266 01:00:06,149 --> 01:00:08,526 ♪ Well you can say ♪ 1267 01:00:08,526 --> 01:00:13,490 ♪ That the night is full of danger ♪ 1268 01:00:15,283 --> 01:00:17,494 ♪ But you know ♪ 1269 01:00:17,494 --> 01:00:22,457 ♪ To the night, you're not a stranger ♪ 1270 01:00:23,124 --> 01:00:25,210 ♪ You know what I mean ♪ 1271 01:00:25,210 --> 01:00:29,756 ♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop bop bop ♪ 1272 01:00:29,756 --> 01:00:34,636 ♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop bop bop ♪ 1273 01:00:34,636 --> 01:00:39,224 ♪ As the shadow falls ♪ 1274 01:00:39,224 --> 01:00:44,187 ♪ And the daylight slips away to the night ♪ 1275 01:00:44,354 --> 01:00:46,648 ♪ The night that lasts forever ♪ 1276 01:00:46,648 --> 01:00:48,691 ♪ The night that is your friend ♪ 1277 01:00:48,691 --> 01:00:51,402 ♪ A friend of pain and pleasure ♪ 1278 01:00:51,402 --> 01:00:53,238 ♪ And in the night ♪ 1279 01:00:53,238 --> 01:00:55,532 ♪ The night, you hear it calling ♪ 1280 01:00:55,532 --> 01:00:57,867 ♪ Calling our your name ♪ 1281 01:00:57,867 --> 01:01:01,704 ♪ You will never, ever be the same ♪ 1282 01:01:01,704 --> 01:01:06,042 ♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop bop bop ♪ 1283 01:01:06,042 --> 01:01:10,296 ♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop bop bop ♪ 1284 01:01:10,296 --> 01:01:12,382 ♪ Yo girly girl, I'm back again ♪ 1285 01:01:12,382 --> 01:01:14,801 ♪ And all I wanna do is jam with my friends ♪ 1286 01:01:14,801 --> 01:01:16,761 ♪ And jammin' is what I'll do ♪ 1287 01:01:16,761 --> 01:01:19,639 ♪ And I'll jam the house and jam it down on you ♪ 1288 01:01:19,639 --> 01:01:23,768 ♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop-- ♪ (record scratching) 1289 01:01:27,147 --> 01:01:32,026 ♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop bop bop ♪ 1290 01:01:32,026 --> 01:01:36,322 ♪ As the shadows fall ♪ 1291 01:01:36,322 --> 01:01:41,286 ♪ And the daylight slips away to the night ♪ 1292 01:01:41,494 --> 01:01:43,788 ♪ The night that lasts forever ♪ 1293 01:01:43,788 --> 01:01:46,040 ♪ The night that is your friend ♪ 1294 01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:48,668 ♪ A friend of pain and pleasure ♪ 1295 01:01:48,668 --> 01:01:50,503 ♪ And in the night ♪ 1296 01:01:50,503 --> 01:01:52,839 ♪ The night, you hear it calling ♪ 1297 01:01:52,839 --> 01:01:55,133 ♪ Calling out your name ♪ 1298 01:01:55,133 --> 01:01:59,220 ♪ That you will never, ever be the same ♪ 1299 01:02:00,972 --> 01:02:03,183 - My mom's kind of strange. 1300 01:02:04,475 --> 01:02:06,269 If you hadn't noticed. 1301 01:02:07,395 --> 01:02:11,024 - This whole night has been kind of strange. 1302 01:02:13,860 --> 01:02:15,320 - Mona, pull over. 1303 01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:25,413 (wolf howling) 1304 01:02:25,413 --> 01:02:26,206 Oh great. 1305 01:02:29,459 --> 01:02:30,501 Mona? 1306 01:02:30,501 --> 01:02:32,545 Would you give up everything for me? 1307 01:02:32,545 --> 01:02:35,381 Your career, your friends, everything? 1308 01:02:35,381 --> 01:02:39,052 - Ralph, don't you think that's a little bit radical? 1309 01:02:39,052 --> 01:02:40,970 I mean, maybe we should date for a while first, 1310 01:02:40,970 --> 01:02:41,846 don't you think? 1311 01:02:41,846 --> 01:02:45,433 - I've given you a choice and it has to be your choice. 1312 01:02:45,433 --> 01:02:47,769 - What are you talking about? 1313 01:02:47,769 --> 01:02:49,979 Ralph, where are you going? 1314 01:02:51,439 --> 01:02:52,607 Ralph, where are you going? 1315 01:02:52,607 --> 01:02:54,943 - [Ralph] Just follow me. 1316 01:02:54,943 --> 01:02:57,654 - Ralph, what is with you? 1317 01:02:57,654 --> 01:02:59,447 - Okay, you see these people? 1318 01:02:59,447 --> 01:03:01,658 They're dead, I'm not. 1319 01:03:01,658 --> 01:03:03,076 - I can see that, Ralph. 1320 01:03:03,076 --> 01:03:04,953 - But, I'm older. 1321 01:03:04,953 --> 01:03:05,787 - What? 1322 01:03:05,787 --> 01:03:07,664 - Mona, I'm a vampire. 1323 01:03:07,664 --> 01:03:09,123 - And I'm the Bride of Frankenstein. 1324 01:03:09,123 --> 01:03:10,708 - No seriously, Mona, it's the truth. 1325 01:03:10,708 --> 01:03:12,210 I'm not a bad vampire. 1326 01:03:12,210 --> 01:03:15,338 I am a bad vampire, I'm not very good at it. 1327 01:03:15,338 --> 01:03:17,966 I don't bite people but I am a vampire. 1328 01:03:17,966 --> 01:03:20,510 - Ralph, this is a very common thing. 1329 01:03:20,510 --> 01:03:21,344 - It is? 1330 01:03:21,344 --> 01:03:22,220 - Yes, sure it is. 1331 01:03:22,220 --> 01:03:25,014 People begin to believe their stage personas all the time. 1332 01:03:25,014 --> 01:03:27,392 - No, no, no, no, I don't think I'm a vampire, 1333 01:03:27,392 --> 01:03:29,936 I really am a vampire. 1334 01:03:29,936 --> 01:03:31,187 - Prove it. 1335 01:03:31,187 --> 01:03:32,021 - Look. 1336 01:03:32,021 --> 01:03:33,189 Fangs, see? 1337 01:03:33,189 --> 01:03:35,358 - Well it's probably something that just runs 1338 01:03:35,358 --> 01:03:37,110 in the family, Ralph. 1339 01:03:37,110 --> 01:03:39,779 Besides, I knew a girl in the eighth grade, 1340 01:03:39,779 --> 01:03:41,155 she had bigger teeth than that. 1341 01:03:41,155 --> 01:03:43,658 She wasn't a vampire, Ralph. 1342 01:03:43,658 --> 01:03:46,286 You really should have those filed down though. 1343 01:03:46,286 --> 01:03:48,288 - Okay, all that stuff my mom was talking about 1344 01:03:48,288 --> 01:03:51,040 back at the house, it's all true. 1345 01:03:51,040 --> 01:03:53,459 Mona, you are 422 years old. 1346 01:03:53,459 --> 01:03:55,461 This is your 19th lifetime. 1347 01:03:55,461 --> 01:03:58,423 You always die on Halloween night of your 22nd year. 1348 01:03:58,423 --> 01:03:59,590 - Ralph! 1349 01:03:59,590 --> 01:04:01,384 - Mona, we were lovers 400 years ago 1350 01:04:01,384 --> 01:04:03,094 and every 22 years since then, 1351 01:04:03,094 --> 01:04:04,929 and it always ends the same way. 1352 01:04:04,929 --> 01:04:06,431 - And how is that? 1353 01:04:06,431 --> 01:04:08,850 - You're killed by a pirate with a peg leg 1354 01:04:08,850 --> 01:04:11,060 wielding a gigantic ham bone. 1355 01:04:11,060 --> 01:04:12,353 - And then I'm reborn? 1356 01:04:12,353 --> 01:04:14,522 - Over and over. 1357 01:04:14,522 --> 01:04:18,693 - I think maybe you just need some therapy, Ralph. 1358 01:04:18,693 --> 01:04:20,236 - Okay, you remember this? 1359 01:04:20,236 --> 01:04:21,779 You said you did back at the house. 1360 01:04:21,779 --> 01:04:22,864 - I do. 1361 01:04:22,864 --> 01:04:24,699 I remember that from somewhere. 1362 01:04:24,699 --> 01:04:26,075 - 1786. 1363 01:04:26,075 --> 01:04:26,993 - What? 1364 01:04:26,993 --> 01:04:28,369 - You owned it in 1786. 1365 01:04:28,369 --> 01:04:29,704 You wanna see what you looked like? 1366 01:04:29,704 --> 01:04:31,122 - I'm not sure. 1367 01:04:31,122 --> 01:04:34,792 (soft lullaby music) 1368 01:04:34,792 --> 01:04:37,295 - And here's you in 1918. 1369 01:04:37,295 --> 01:04:40,923 (soft lullaby music) 1370 01:04:40,923 --> 01:04:42,675 - Now wait a minute. 1371 01:04:42,675 --> 01:04:44,385 So that means that, 1372 01:04:44,385 --> 01:04:46,012 that you're-- - Yes. 1373 01:04:46,012 --> 01:04:47,597 - And that I'm-- - Yep. 1374 01:04:47,597 --> 01:04:50,141 - And that we're-- - You got it. 1375 01:04:51,267 --> 01:04:52,435 - Nah. 1376 01:04:52,435 --> 01:04:54,812 - Okay, okay, fine, fine. 1377 01:04:54,812 --> 01:04:57,315 Okay, I didn't wanna do this but you leave me no choice. 1378 01:04:57,315 --> 01:04:59,359 Now watch close, I haven't done this in years 1379 01:04:59,359 --> 01:05:02,987 and I'm not very good at it so bear with me. 1380 01:05:09,369 --> 01:05:11,037 Hi. 1381 01:05:11,037 --> 01:05:12,205 Mona. 1382 01:05:12,205 --> 01:05:13,331 Mona, it's me. 1383 01:05:20,630 --> 01:05:21,589 Mona. 1384 01:05:21,589 --> 01:05:22,423 Mona. 1385 01:05:22,423 --> 01:05:24,008 - Stay away from me. 1386 01:05:24,008 --> 01:05:25,927 - It's okay, you react like this every time. 1387 01:05:25,927 --> 01:05:27,095 Everything's okay, it's okay. 1388 01:05:27,095 --> 01:05:28,304 - No, no it isn't. 1389 01:05:28,304 --> 01:05:30,223 This is my fault. 1390 01:05:30,223 --> 01:05:31,724 I thought I could handle this, I thought I was 1391 01:05:31,724 --> 01:05:34,102 more open-minded, but this. 1392 01:05:34,102 --> 01:05:35,561 This is just too much. 1393 01:05:35,561 --> 01:05:37,397 - No, no Mona it's okay, all you have to do is make 1394 01:05:37,397 --> 01:05:38,773 it to All Saints Day. 1395 01:05:38,773 --> 01:05:39,982 - Stay away from me. 1396 01:05:39,982 --> 01:05:41,317 - Mona, you have no choice. 1397 01:05:41,317 --> 01:05:42,485 I love you, you love me. 1398 01:05:42,485 --> 01:05:44,487 If you don't listen to me you're gonna die, 1399 01:05:44,487 --> 01:05:45,822 and we're gonna have to do this all over again 1400 01:05:45,822 --> 01:05:47,407 in 22 years. 1401 01:05:47,407 --> 01:05:49,450 - I don't love you Ralph! 1402 01:05:50,368 --> 01:05:51,327 I don't! 1403 01:05:51,327 --> 01:05:52,120 - Mona! 1404 01:05:54,372 --> 01:05:55,164 Mona! 1405 01:05:58,376 --> 01:06:01,921 (slow, somber synth music) 1406 01:06:16,018 --> 01:06:18,146 (sobbing) 1407 01:06:22,608 --> 01:06:26,154 (slow, somber synth music) 1408 01:06:32,785 --> 01:06:35,830 (upbeat synth music) 1409 01:06:40,835 --> 01:06:43,463 (phone ringing) 1410 01:06:47,717 --> 01:06:50,011 ♪ On the corners of boulevards ♪ 1411 01:06:50,011 --> 01:06:54,974 ♪ I call your name ♪ 1412 01:06:56,309 --> 01:07:01,272 ♪ Now and again they play our tune ♪ 1413 01:07:04,984 --> 01:07:09,947 ♪ In the grip of a tight hand over the flame ♪ 1414 01:07:13,409 --> 01:07:17,455 ♪ Pale as the phases of the moon ♪ 1415 01:07:26,464 --> 01:07:29,842 (funky soft synth music) 1416 01:07:39,685 --> 01:07:44,649 ♪ In the cafes of shopping malls I see your face ♪ 1417 01:07:48,152 --> 01:07:53,115 ♪ Turn into mist on evening dew ♪ 1418 01:07:57,662 --> 01:08:02,625 ♪ But a book and a photograph just aren't the same ♪ 1419 01:08:05,461 --> 01:08:09,590 ♪ There is a train that's leaving soon ♪ 1420 01:08:15,555 --> 01:08:18,516 (funky synth music) 1421 01:08:39,954 --> 01:08:42,915 ♪ Budapest by blimp ♪ 1422 01:08:50,006 --> 01:08:52,967 (funky synth music) 1423 01:08:59,015 --> 01:09:03,144 (yelling) (whipping) 1424 01:09:12,028 --> 01:09:12,820 - No! 1425 01:09:13,779 --> 01:09:14,572 Ralph! 1426 01:09:16,073 --> 01:09:16,866 Ralph! 1427 01:09:31,672 --> 01:09:35,801 (birds chirping) (rummaging) 1428 01:09:46,062 --> 01:09:47,938 - Your move, numb nuts. 1429 01:09:50,858 --> 01:09:51,651 Ralph. 1430 01:09:53,069 --> 01:09:54,028 - Huh? 1431 01:09:54,028 --> 01:09:54,945 - Your move. 1432 01:09:59,241 --> 01:10:00,493 - I'm sorry. 1433 01:10:00,493 --> 01:10:02,536 I just can't concentrate. 1434 01:10:05,206 --> 01:10:08,125 - Thinkin' about tonight? 1435 01:10:08,125 --> 01:10:09,669 Where you goin'? 1436 01:10:09,669 --> 01:10:10,461 - Out. 1437 01:10:11,504 --> 01:10:14,256 - Well don't forget your retainer. 1438 01:10:15,341 --> 01:10:18,219 - I don't need that anymore. 1439 01:10:18,219 --> 01:10:21,097 (slow, soft music) 1440 01:10:25,976 --> 01:10:28,938 - Well, are you quite sure? 1441 01:10:28,938 --> 01:10:31,649 No, I already have the costume, what I want 1442 01:10:31,649 --> 01:10:34,443 is a rhinestone peg leg. 1443 01:10:34,443 --> 01:10:37,613 Yes, I know it's Halloween, goddammit. 1444 01:10:37,613 --> 01:10:38,614 Ugh! 1445 01:10:38,614 --> 01:10:40,741 What am I gonna do? 1446 01:10:40,741 --> 01:10:43,411 (sighing) 1447 01:10:43,411 --> 01:10:45,538 (dialing) 1448 01:10:47,623 --> 01:10:48,624 Hello? 1449 01:10:48,624 --> 01:10:49,875 Madam Ben Wa? 1450 01:10:49,875 --> 01:10:52,420 Hi, it's Stanley, the ham bone? 1451 01:10:55,089 --> 01:10:58,175 I'm working on it, but listen. 1452 01:10:58,175 --> 01:11:01,470 I have another little problem. 1453 01:11:01,470 --> 01:11:04,348 (soft funky music) 1454 01:11:12,273 --> 01:11:13,899 - Unbelievable. 1455 01:11:13,899 --> 01:11:16,318 - [Man] Another van will be along in 10 minutes. 1456 01:11:16,318 --> 01:11:17,111 Sorry. 1457 01:11:19,739 --> 01:11:22,241 - What am I gonna do? 1458 01:11:22,241 --> 01:11:25,119 (soft funky music) 1459 01:11:38,799 --> 01:11:39,842 - Thanks. 1460 01:11:39,842 --> 01:11:42,052 Just one of those days, you know? 1461 01:11:42,052 --> 01:11:44,430 - Try one of those lifetimes. 1462 01:11:47,683 --> 01:11:50,561 (soft funky music) 1463 01:12:01,989 --> 01:12:04,950 (people chattering) 1464 01:12:13,167 --> 01:12:16,712 (upbeat electronic music) 1465 01:12:16,712 --> 01:12:18,672 - I'm really worried. 1466 01:12:18,672 --> 01:12:20,424 I haven't seen her for days. 1467 01:12:20,424 --> 01:12:22,885 - And Ralph, I haven't seen him either. 1468 01:12:22,885 --> 01:12:24,094 - [Axman] Neither have I. 1469 01:12:24,094 --> 01:12:24,970 - I'm back! 1470 01:12:32,269 --> 01:12:35,481 (blowing through hand) 1471 01:12:39,527 --> 01:12:42,571 - Madam Ben Wa, is that you? (hitting) 1472 01:12:42,571 --> 01:12:44,198 Hello Madam Ben Wa. 1473 01:12:44,198 --> 01:12:46,951 I've got everything ready, the liquid nitrogen, everything. 1474 01:12:46,951 --> 01:12:48,619 All I need is-- 1475 01:12:48,619 --> 01:12:49,829 Wow. 1476 01:12:49,829 --> 01:12:51,205 Real rhinestones. 1477 01:12:52,623 --> 01:12:54,708 Do you think she's gonna be here, Madam Ben Wa? 1478 01:12:54,708 --> 01:12:55,960 (hitting) 1479 01:12:55,960 --> 01:12:57,920 - Are you doubting Madam Ben Wa? 1480 01:12:57,920 --> 01:12:59,129 - Oh no, no, no, no, no. 1481 01:12:59,129 --> 01:13:02,258 - Do I sense that you are wavering from your destiny? 1482 01:13:02,258 --> 01:13:03,676 - No, Madam Ben Wa. 1483 01:13:03,676 --> 01:13:06,095 - Do you love Mona more than life itself? 1484 01:13:06,095 --> 01:13:07,221 - Yes. 1485 01:13:07,221 --> 01:13:08,848 - Then you will save her from the vampire. 1486 01:13:08,848 --> 01:13:11,600 - Yes, Madam Ben Wa, yes, yes! 1487 01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:13,352 - You remember. 1488 01:13:13,352 --> 01:13:14,645 Before midnight! 1489 01:13:15,771 --> 01:13:17,523 - [Robin] Suppose she doesn't come on time. 1490 01:13:17,523 --> 01:13:18,440 - So you'll go on. 1491 01:13:18,440 --> 01:13:19,608 (scoffing) 1492 01:13:19,608 --> 01:13:21,318 - I can't do that. 1493 01:13:21,318 --> 01:13:23,612 - Sure you can, you know that song. 1494 01:13:23,612 --> 01:13:25,614 I've heard you sing it. 1495 01:13:25,614 --> 01:13:27,241 Ham. 1496 01:13:27,241 --> 01:13:28,826 Who brought the sandwiches? 1497 01:13:28,826 --> 01:13:30,077 - I did. 1498 01:13:30,077 --> 01:13:31,245 What's the matter? 1499 01:13:31,245 --> 01:13:33,706 Too cooked for you, Mr. Vampire? 1500 01:13:33,706 --> 01:13:35,749 - What's your costume, Stanley? 1501 01:13:35,749 --> 01:13:37,459 - It's a secret. 1502 01:13:37,459 --> 01:13:39,670 - It wouldn't happen to be a pirate, would it? 1503 01:13:39,670 --> 01:13:41,088 - What if it is? 1504 01:13:41,088 --> 01:13:43,299 - [Woman] Lana, 10 minutes. 1505 01:13:44,341 --> 01:13:47,344 - Don't forget your peg leg, Stanley. 1506 01:13:49,972 --> 01:13:53,851 (upbeat electronic rock music) 1507 01:14:35,559 --> 01:14:39,438 (upbeat electronic rock music) 1508 01:14:49,657 --> 01:14:51,700 - [Stanley] God dammit! 1509 01:14:51,700 --> 01:14:52,534 - [Robin] Did you find her? 1510 01:14:52,534 --> 01:14:53,577 - No sign of her yet. 1511 01:14:53,577 --> 01:14:54,662 - [Chuck] Stanley's disappeared. 1512 01:14:54,662 --> 01:14:56,372 He was here one minute and gone the next. 1513 01:14:56,372 --> 01:14:57,206 - Okay, let's go. 1514 01:14:57,206 --> 01:15:00,000 Raphael, you and Chuck stage left, Axman stage right. 1515 01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:02,336 Be on the look out for anyone in a pirate costume. 1516 01:15:02,336 --> 01:15:03,545 - What about Stanley? 1517 01:15:03,545 --> 01:15:05,297 - Leave Stanley to me. 1518 01:15:05,297 --> 01:15:07,549 - [Announcer] Club Hell presents Mona! 1519 01:15:07,549 --> 01:15:09,635 - It's up to you. 1520 01:15:09,635 --> 01:15:10,761 You can do it. 1521 01:15:11,887 --> 01:15:14,556 (crowd cheering) 1522 01:15:18,519 --> 01:15:20,980 - I'm waiting for you my love. 1523 01:15:22,773 --> 01:15:25,234 I hope Madam Ben Wa was right. 1524 01:15:28,696 --> 01:15:32,658 (upbeat electronic dance music) 1525 01:15:36,537 --> 01:15:38,205 ♪ Na na na ♪ 1526 01:15:38,205 --> 01:15:43,168 ♪ Na na na na na na ♪ 1527 01:15:44,920 --> 01:15:47,047 ♪ Na na na ♪ 1528 01:15:47,047 --> 01:15:52,011 ♪ Na na na na na na ♪ 1529 01:15:53,512 --> 01:15:57,641 ♪ I know of a country ♪ 1530 01:15:57,641 --> 01:16:01,895 ♪ Not too far from here ♪ 1531 01:16:01,895 --> 01:16:06,316 ♪ No one lives in hunger ♪ 1532 01:16:06,316 --> 01:16:10,946 ♪ No one lives in fear ♪ 1533 01:16:10,946 --> 01:16:13,407 ♪ United state of beat ♪ 1534 01:16:13,407 --> 01:16:15,159 ♪ We've got to go there ♪ 1535 01:16:15,159 --> 01:16:17,703 ♪ United state of beat ♪ 1536 01:16:17,703 --> 01:16:19,496 ♪ We've got to go ♪ 1537 01:16:19,496 --> 01:16:21,999 ♪ United state of beat ♪ 1538 01:16:21,999 --> 01:16:23,917 ♪ We've got to go there ♪ 1539 01:16:23,917 --> 01:16:26,462 ♪ United state of beat ♪ 1540 01:16:26,462 --> 01:16:30,090 ♪ We've got to go there now ♪ 1541 01:16:32,259 --> 01:16:36,346 ♪ Right now ♪ (cheering) 1542 01:16:42,519 --> 01:16:46,482 (upbeat electronic dance music) 1543 01:16:52,404 --> 01:16:54,948 - Mom, what are you doing here? 1544 01:16:57,493 --> 01:16:58,285 Mom! 1545 01:17:00,412 --> 01:17:01,205 Excuse me. 1546 01:17:02,247 --> 01:17:03,290 Mom, what are you doing here? 1547 01:17:03,290 --> 01:17:04,124 Are you okay? 1548 01:17:04,124 --> 01:17:06,960 - I just wanted to see your little rock band play. 1549 01:17:06,960 --> 01:17:10,005 Is that too much for a mother to ask? 1550 01:17:11,465 --> 01:17:15,594 (screaming) (Stanley yelling) 1551 01:17:17,513 --> 01:17:18,305 - Mona! 1552 01:17:20,099 --> 01:17:20,891 Mona! 1553 01:17:21,850 --> 01:17:24,228 (people yelling) 1554 01:17:24,228 --> 01:17:25,020 - Ralph. 1555 01:17:26,480 --> 01:17:29,483 (slow, tense music) (people yelling) 1556 01:17:29,483 --> 01:17:32,277 - [Mona] Put me down, what are you doing? 1557 01:17:32,277 --> 01:17:33,070 Stanley! 1558 01:17:34,113 --> 01:17:38,242 (people yelling) (slow, tense music) 1559 01:17:39,660 --> 01:17:40,452 - Mona! 1560 01:17:44,373 --> 01:17:45,207 - [Chuck] Sorry, man, we lost-- 1561 01:17:45,207 --> 01:17:47,042 - [Ralph] It's not important, we gotta find Mona. 1562 01:17:47,042 --> 01:17:48,710 We gotta split up, what time is it? 1563 01:17:48,710 --> 01:17:49,711 - [Axman] Five to 12. 1564 01:17:49,711 --> 01:17:51,839 - [Ralph] I hope it's not too late. 1565 01:17:51,839 --> 01:17:53,715 - [Chuck] Come on then. 1566 01:17:57,845 --> 01:17:59,346 - Stanley. 1567 01:17:59,346 --> 01:18:00,722 What is going on? 1568 01:18:01,598 --> 01:18:02,933 - Destiny. 1569 01:18:02,933 --> 01:18:04,101 - Ouch! 1570 01:18:04,101 --> 01:18:05,227 Are you crazy? 1571 01:18:06,311 --> 01:18:09,273 (slow, tense music) 1572 01:18:10,315 --> 01:18:13,235 Stanley, is that a ham bone? 1573 01:18:13,235 --> 01:18:15,696 - Well it ain't chopped liver. 1574 01:18:17,948 --> 01:18:18,824 - Ham bone. 1575 01:18:20,367 --> 01:18:21,743 Pirate. 1576 01:18:21,743 --> 01:18:22,828 Halloween. 1577 01:18:22,828 --> 01:18:23,620 Ralph! 1578 01:18:25,038 --> 01:18:25,873 - Damn. 1579 01:18:25,873 --> 01:18:26,874 - Hey, Ralph, what's the good word? 1580 01:18:26,874 --> 01:18:28,125 You save her yet? 1581 01:18:28,125 --> 01:18:29,877 - Stanley's got her and they've disappeared. 1582 01:18:29,877 --> 01:18:30,878 - Typical. 1583 01:18:30,878 --> 01:18:32,212 - What's typical? 1584 01:18:32,212 --> 01:18:33,755 - That the damsel's in distress and you're caught 1585 01:18:33,755 --> 01:18:35,424 sleeping at the gate behind the eight ball 1586 01:18:35,424 --> 01:18:37,176 a day late and a dime short. 1587 01:18:37,176 --> 01:18:38,802 - Sometimes I really hate you. 1588 01:18:38,802 --> 01:18:41,638 - Oh, thanks a lot and I'm just gonna tell you where she is. 1589 01:18:41,638 --> 01:18:42,890 - Where, where, where is she? 1590 01:18:42,890 --> 01:18:44,933 - But now I'm not going to. 1591 01:18:44,933 --> 01:18:46,226 - Tell me, where is she? 1592 01:18:46,226 --> 01:18:48,228 - Not until you apologize. 1593 01:18:48,228 --> 01:18:51,023 (whistling) 1594 01:18:51,023 --> 01:18:52,149 - I apologize! 1595 01:18:53,483 --> 01:18:57,112 - Who's your best friend in the whole world? 1596 01:18:58,071 --> 01:18:59,740 I'm sorry, what, what, what, what, what? 1597 01:18:59,740 --> 01:19:00,574 I can't hear you. 1598 01:19:00,574 --> 01:19:01,408 - You are! 1599 01:19:01,408 --> 01:19:03,327 Tell me where she is! 1600 01:19:03,327 --> 01:19:04,703 - You go out that door, you make a left, 1601 01:19:04,703 --> 01:19:06,663 there's a access stairs. 1602 01:19:11,627 --> 01:19:12,419 Hm. 1603 01:19:13,420 --> 01:19:15,464 It's gonna be close. 1604 01:19:15,464 --> 01:19:18,175 (people yelling) 1605 01:19:19,259 --> 01:19:20,844 - Why, Stanley, why? 1606 01:19:20,844 --> 01:19:21,887 - Because I love you, Mona. 1607 01:19:21,887 --> 01:19:23,972 We belong together. 1608 01:19:23,972 --> 01:19:24,973 - So you're gonna kill me? 1609 01:19:24,973 --> 01:19:25,807 - Well not exactly. 1610 01:19:25,807 --> 01:19:27,809 I'm gonna freeze you cryogenically 1611 01:19:27,809 --> 01:19:29,853 and then we'll be together forever. 1612 01:19:29,853 --> 01:19:30,646 - No! 1613 01:19:33,315 --> 01:19:36,026 - Drop the bone, Stanley. 1614 01:19:36,026 --> 01:19:37,110 - Make me. 1615 01:19:37,110 --> 01:19:39,321 - I don't make garbage. 1616 01:19:39,321 --> 01:19:40,155 I burn it. 1617 01:19:40,155 --> 01:19:41,615 - Oh yeah? - Yeah. 1618 01:19:42,574 --> 01:19:45,661 (tense music) 1619 01:19:45,661 --> 01:19:47,496 Is that a ham bone Stanley? 1620 01:19:47,496 --> 01:19:48,872 - Why, yes, I think it is. 1621 01:19:48,872 --> 01:19:53,001 - Well that explains our little backstage porkfest. 1622 01:19:53,001 --> 01:19:54,544 Nice touch with the peg leg. 1623 01:19:54,544 --> 01:19:56,255 Where did you get it? 1624 01:19:57,464 --> 01:19:59,675 - My psychic, Madam Ben Wa. 1625 01:20:01,843 --> 01:20:04,554 (grunting) 1626 01:20:04,554 --> 01:20:06,765 (grunting) 1627 01:20:08,558 --> 01:20:09,643 - [Axman] They're nowhere in sight. 1628 01:20:09,643 --> 01:20:11,019 - Ralph just disappeared. 1629 01:20:11,019 --> 01:20:12,646 - Well we gotta find him, it's almost midnight. 1630 01:20:12,646 --> 01:20:14,273 Tuty, is there another way out of here? 1631 01:20:14,273 --> 01:20:15,107 - Yes. 1632 01:20:15,107 --> 01:20:16,984 There's a little door that goes upstairs over there. 1633 01:20:16,984 --> 01:20:18,277 - [Chuck] Great! 1634 01:20:21,363 --> 01:20:23,490 (yelling) 1635 01:20:24,658 --> 01:20:26,785 (yelling) 1636 01:20:34,126 --> 01:20:36,003 - The girl is mine! 1637 01:20:36,003 --> 01:20:37,379 - [Ralph] Is not! 1638 01:20:41,091 --> 01:20:41,883 - Is too. 1639 01:20:43,010 --> 01:20:44,261 - Is not. 1640 01:20:44,261 --> 01:20:46,096 This time, the pirate loses. 1641 01:20:46,096 --> 01:20:49,850 All my life, I've been pushed around by punks like you. 1642 01:20:49,850 --> 01:20:52,060 No one ever believed in me. 1643 01:20:52,060 --> 01:20:54,563 I never even believed in myself. 1644 01:20:54,563 --> 01:20:56,940 I spent centuries wallowing in self-pity. 1645 01:20:56,940 --> 01:20:59,943 I was such a weakling, I couldn't even shake a cold. 1646 01:20:59,943 --> 01:21:02,070 The only person who believed in me was my mother, 1647 01:21:02,070 --> 01:21:03,363 God bless her. 1648 01:21:03,363 --> 01:21:05,073 If it weren't for that woman-- 1649 01:21:05,073 --> 01:21:07,409 - Oh Ralph, I'm sorry. 1650 01:21:07,409 --> 01:21:08,702 - Mom. 1651 01:21:08,702 --> 01:21:09,745 - Madam Ben Wa? 1652 01:21:09,745 --> 01:21:10,871 - Mrs. Levee? 1653 01:21:10,871 --> 01:21:11,997 - Madam Ben Wa? 1654 01:21:11,997 --> 01:21:13,498 - Mom? 1655 01:21:13,498 --> 01:21:15,083 - I thought I was doing the right thing 1656 01:21:15,083 --> 01:21:17,419 but now I know I was wrong. 1657 01:21:17,419 --> 01:21:19,338 - You mean you were behind this the whole time? 1658 01:21:19,338 --> 01:21:20,839 - You were my little boy. 1659 01:21:20,839 --> 01:21:22,632 I didn't want you to leave home. 1660 01:21:22,632 --> 01:21:24,217 Now I know you're all grown up. 1661 01:21:24,217 --> 01:21:25,427 - You're in this together. 1662 01:21:25,427 --> 01:21:27,179 Die, vampire scum! 1663 01:21:27,179 --> 01:21:28,555 - [Phoebe] Ralph! 1664 01:21:29,931 --> 01:21:32,434 - That was my mother you just boned. 1665 01:21:32,434 --> 01:21:34,061 - She was a traitor. 1666 01:21:36,730 --> 01:21:38,148 Nothing can stop me now. 1667 01:21:38,148 --> 01:21:38,982 - [Mona] No! 1668 01:21:38,982 --> 01:21:39,816 Ralph! 1669 01:21:39,816 --> 01:21:43,695 - Not so fast, you leave me no choice, Stanley. 1670 01:21:50,994 --> 01:21:53,205 Drop the ham bone, Stanley. 1671 01:21:55,165 --> 01:21:57,292 (yelling) 1672 01:22:00,087 --> 01:22:01,463 - [Man] Two, one. 1673 01:22:02,923 --> 01:22:05,217 You are now totally relaxed yet energized 1674 01:22:05,217 --> 01:22:07,803 in a beautiful and harmonious way. 1675 01:22:07,803 --> 01:22:10,263 Imagine the energy of the universe coming in through 1676 01:22:10,263 --> 01:22:13,558 the top of your head and radiating out. 1677 01:22:13,558 --> 01:22:16,144 While gripping your nine iron, inhale deeply 1678 01:22:16,144 --> 01:22:19,022 and mentally repeat these affirmations: 1679 01:22:19,022 --> 01:22:22,651 my nine iron is an extension of my penis. 1680 01:22:22,651 --> 01:22:26,571 My nine iron is an extension of my penis. 1681 01:22:26,571 --> 01:22:30,075 (Ralph grunting) 1682 01:22:30,075 --> 01:22:32,285 - I knew that would come in handy one day. 1683 01:22:32,285 --> 01:22:34,371 Mona, are you alright? 1684 01:22:34,371 --> 01:22:35,831 - You know the second time around that bat thing 1685 01:22:35,831 --> 01:22:37,207 was kind of cute. 1686 01:22:39,918 --> 01:22:41,670 - Yowza, what happened here? 1687 01:22:41,670 --> 01:22:42,879 - It's after 12. 1688 01:22:42,879 --> 01:22:43,713 - [Raphael] You saved her. 1689 01:22:43,713 --> 01:22:44,464 - Yes! 1690 01:22:45,465 --> 01:22:48,343 (soft, slow music) 1691 01:22:50,637 --> 01:22:51,430 Mom. 1692 01:22:53,140 --> 01:22:54,474 Come here. 1693 01:22:54,474 --> 01:22:55,267 - Oh. 1694 01:22:57,644 --> 01:22:59,187 Oh Ralphie. 1695 01:22:59,187 --> 01:23:00,522 Do you forgive me? 1696 01:23:00,522 --> 01:23:03,108 (hissing) 1697 01:23:03,108 --> 01:23:04,609 - Of course we forgive you. 1698 01:23:04,609 --> 01:23:05,735 - Oh, Ralphie! 1699 01:23:09,990 --> 01:23:12,951 (people chattering) 1700 01:23:17,122 --> 01:23:19,332 (cheering) 1701 01:23:20,375 --> 01:23:21,418 - No hickies. 1702 01:23:22,502 --> 01:23:23,295 - Ralph? 1703 01:23:25,130 --> 01:23:25,922 Hey Ralph? 1704 01:23:29,634 --> 01:23:31,011 Ralph? 1705 01:23:31,011 --> 01:23:33,180 Where are you man? 1706 01:23:33,180 --> 01:23:33,972 Ralph! 1707 01:23:35,015 --> 01:23:35,807 Come on. 1708 01:23:38,101 --> 01:23:39,811 Hey, did you get her? 1709 01:23:41,146 --> 01:23:42,606 Ralph? 1710 01:23:42,606 --> 01:23:45,484 Come on, I'm ready, don't leave me. 1711 01:23:47,027 --> 01:23:47,861 Ral-- 1712 01:23:47,861 --> 01:23:49,946 Okay, I'll wait, I'll wait. 1713 01:23:49,946 --> 01:23:51,656 Ralph! Where are you? 1714 01:23:55,243 --> 01:23:57,245 Ralph, come on, I'm locked in here! 1715 01:23:57,245 --> 01:23:58,038 Ralph! 1716 01:24:01,625 --> 01:24:02,417 Okay. 1717 01:24:03,627 --> 01:24:04,503 Okay, fine. 1718 01:24:06,671 --> 01:24:08,006 To hell with this. 1719 01:24:08,006 --> 01:24:09,299 (grunting) 1720 01:24:09,299 --> 01:24:12,344 (glass shattering) 1721 01:24:12,344 --> 01:24:16,473 (upbeat rock music) (cheering) 1722 01:24:33,615 --> 01:24:35,825 (cheering) 1723 01:24:47,754 --> 01:24:49,214 Wow, it's deja vu. 1724 01:24:51,258 --> 01:24:55,136 (upbeat rock music) (cheering) 1725 01:24:55,136 --> 01:24:57,180 - The return of the king! 1726 01:25:00,976 --> 01:25:03,186 (cheering) 1727 01:25:04,646 --> 01:25:07,607 (upbeat rock music) 1728 01:25:43,226 --> 01:25:44,394 ♪ Well there's a party in my pants ♪ 1729 01:25:44,394 --> 01:25:48,106 ♪ If you'd like to take a gander ♪ 1730 01:25:48,106 --> 01:25:49,357 ♪ And there's a rocket in my pocket ♪ 1731 01:25:49,357 --> 01:25:53,153 ♪ Like a pink salamander ♪ 1732 01:25:53,153 --> 01:25:58,241 ♪ If diamond ring's something you lack ♪ 1733 01:25:58,241 --> 01:26:03,204 ♪ Well don't worry baby 'cause the king is back ♪ 1734 01:26:03,413 --> 01:26:05,707 ♪ Hey, Rockula ♪ 1735 01:26:05,707 --> 01:26:06,875 ♪ I got love in my tummy ♪ 1736 01:26:06,875 --> 01:26:08,418 ♪ There's enough to go around ♪ 1737 01:26:08,418 --> 01:26:11,087 ♪ Hey, Rockula ♪ 1738 01:26:11,087 --> 01:26:13,506 ♪ Rockulin' down to the bo diddley sound ♪ 1739 01:26:13,506 --> 01:26:17,969 ♪ Hey, Rockula ♪ 1740 01:26:17,969 --> 01:26:22,932 ♪ My name is Rockula and I'm takin' no prisoners ♪ 1741 01:26:23,350 --> 01:26:28,104 ♪ Later in the day I got nothin' to do ♪ 1742 01:26:28,104 --> 01:26:32,400 ♪ I'm gonna buy me a car maybe I'll buy you one too baby ♪ 1743 01:26:32,400 --> 01:26:33,443 ♪ Toot toot ♪ 1744 01:26:33,443 --> 01:26:37,322 ♪ If you need money, baby, I got a stack ♪ 1745 01:26:37,322 --> 01:26:38,156 ♪ Doot doot ♪ 1746 01:26:38,156 --> 01:26:43,119 ♪ Just tell all your friends that the king is back ♪ 1747 01:26:43,286 --> 01:26:45,413 ♪ Hey, Rockula ♪ 1748 01:26:45,413 --> 01:26:48,541 ♪ I got love, I got money, there's enough to go around ♪ 1749 01:26:48,541 --> 01:26:50,752 ♪ Hey, Rockula ♪ 1750 01:26:50,752 --> 01:26:53,213 ♪ Rockulin' down to the bo diddley sound ♪ 1751 01:26:53,213 --> 01:26:58,009 ♪ Hey, Rockula ♪ 1752 01:26:58,009 --> 01:27:02,138 ♪ My name Rockula, I'm gonna play my thing right now ♪ 1753 01:27:05,350 --> 01:27:08,311 (upbeat rock music) 1754 01:27:24,285 --> 01:27:26,871 ♪ It's time to sing along kids ♪ 1755 01:27:26,871 --> 01:27:28,248 ♪ Just repeat after me ♪ 1756 01:27:28,248 --> 01:27:29,624 ♪ Say yabba is a beast ♪ 1757 01:27:29,624 --> 01:27:30,667 ♪ Yabba beast do ♪ 1758 01:27:30,667 --> 01:27:32,043 ♪ Say apple sucks berry ♪ 1759 01:27:32,043 --> 01:27:33,253 ♪ Apple Sucka Berry ♪ 1760 01:27:33,253 --> 01:27:34,587 ♪ Say I can't I can't ♪ 1761 01:27:34,587 --> 01:27:35,547 ♪ I can't ♪ 1762 01:27:35,547 --> 01:27:37,048 ♪ Say gurgle mouth slack ♪ 1763 01:27:37,048 --> 01:27:38,091 ♪ Gurgle mouth slacks ♪ 1764 01:27:38,091 --> 01:27:39,592 ♪ Say I, I ♪ 1765 01:27:39,592 --> 01:27:40,802 ♪ Here, here ♪ 1766 01:27:40,802 --> 01:27:42,387 ♪ Yo, here ♪ 1767 01:27:42,387 --> 01:27:45,890 ♪ And nine, 10, 11, 12 ♪ 1768 01:27:45,890 --> 01:27:47,934 ♪ Hey, Rockula ♪ 1769 01:27:47,934 --> 01:27:50,895 ♪ I have love, I have money, there's enough to go around ♪ 1770 01:27:50,895 --> 01:27:53,398 ♪ Hey, Rockula ♪ 1771 01:27:53,398 --> 01:27:55,817 ♪ Rockulin' Down To The Bo Diddley Sound ♪ 1772 01:27:55,817 --> 01:28:00,613 ♪ Hey, Rockula ♪ 1773 01:28:00,613 --> 01:28:03,616 ♪ My name is Rockula let's sing it again ♪ 1774 01:28:03,616 --> 01:28:05,493 ♪ Hey, Rockula ♪ 1775 01:28:05,493 --> 01:28:08,329 ♪ I got love, I got money, there's enough to go around ♪ 1776 01:28:08,329 --> 01:28:10,749 ♪ Hey, Rockula ♪ 1777 01:28:10,749 --> 01:28:13,376 ♪ Rockulin' down to the bo diddley sound ♪ 1778 01:28:13,376 --> 01:28:18,381 ♪ Hey, Rockula ♪ 1779 01:28:18,381 --> 01:28:22,010 ♪ Come here baby and hold my thing ♪ 1780 01:28:22,010 --> 01:28:24,637 ♪ Thank you ♪ 1781 01:28:24,637 --> 01:28:27,599 (upbeat rock music) 1782 01:28:29,601 --> 01:28:33,438 ♪ What you want, I'm the king ♪ 1783 01:28:33,438 --> 01:28:36,399 (upbeat rock music) 1784 01:28:40,612 --> 01:28:43,865 ♪ How'd you like that baby ♪ 1785 01:28:43,865 --> 01:28:47,994 (cheering) ♪ Thank you ♪ 1786 01:28:54,793 --> 01:28:57,754 (upbeat rock music) 1787 01:30:01,150 --> 01:30:04,112 (upbeat rock music)